Some people believe that zoos where animals are kept in a man-made environment should no longer exist in the 21st century. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some say that in the 21st century, there must not be zoos where animal species are kept in a human-made place.
This
essay totally agrees with this
statement because it is cruel to keep an animal in a confined space and nature programs allow us to view animals
without the need of a zoo.
This
is awful to keep animals
in tiny places with little space for movement. The species must have a large place because in nature animals
are always in movement and it stands in their genetics. As a result
, if we limit these needs, they probably feel sick and have disease. For example
, my cat Pushok really loves to go outside for walks. When I have no time and he has no way to go, he stands in front of a window with sad eyes and loses his appetite for a long.
To view and study animals
we have many nature programs on TV and videos on YouTube. For that reason, we do not really need to see animals
to explore them and it prevents the government from spending a lot of money to finance this
zoo. For example
, the eagle was liberated from a zoo in Almaty, and this
incident had many views around the world. Because of eagle was a camera people who were interested in such
things, easily explored how eagles fly and how many meters above the earth they can fly.
In conclusion, animals
must live in freedom without being kept in tiny places and we can see them without going to such
a place.Submitted by Kawasaki on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To improve your task achievement, ensure that your arguments are more thoroughly developed with detailed explanations and evidence. Additionally, consider addressing potential counterarguments to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, work on enhancing the logical flow between different parts of your essay. Proper transition words and phrases can help in connecting your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
For instance, in the second body paragraph, try to elaborate more on how nature programs specifically serve as a replacement for zoos and address potential concerns or benefits.
coherence cohesion
You have included an introduction and conclusion, which helps structure your essay well.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant and add to the argument you are presenting, particularly the anecdote about your cat Pushok.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?