IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

the most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#aim #science #people #lives
The majority of drastic improvements in modern society were made by the great development of
science
. Personally,
science
 should be eager to improve
people
's
lives
 more than everything. In
this
 essay, we are going to discuss the importance of
human-centered
Change the spelling
human-centred
show examples
science
 with several examples.
Science
 plays a versatile role in our
lives
, from supporting an individual's daily life to curing someone's disease. With consistent research, it made a great impact on human history and
lives
.
For example
, with the development of aspirin, tons of
people
 saved their
lives
. Nowadays, Artificial intelligence,
such
 as ChatGPT, supports our daily life without any doubt. Some patient who has social anxiety or disability uses ChatGPT before acting, preventing them from fraud or any kind of accident. These examples are the consequences of the
science
 that aims to improve
people
's
lives
. They did not mean to earn profits, but they solely developed a technology.
Then
, what if
science
 does not aim to support
people
? When
science
 is not becoming
human-centered
Change the spelling
human-centred
show examples
, I suppose that will be the start of the disaster. Scientists will be hired by the companies and research for their profits, not for the public.
This
 will cause the gap between the rich and the poor to diverge more. The worst result will be that
science
 is used for its fight, the war. Some history shows the negative use of
science
 in the wars,
such
 as nuclear bombs or guns.
To sum up
, the impact of
science
 has a great role in our
lives
,
therefore
, it is important not to go the wrong way. Scientists should be neutral as long as they can, and should always care about the ethics and consequences of their research.
Submitted by forbid403 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Example Clarity
Ensure your examples are directly linked to the point you're making to reinforce your argument.
Structure
Consider organizing your ideas more distinctly to enhance the logical flow. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs.
Balance
Be cautious with overgeneralizations. Providing a balanced view can enrich your argument.
Linking
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the coherence between your points.
Examples
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
Conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the essay, reinforcing your viewpoint.
Task Response
You've addressed the prompt comprehensively, covering various perspectives and implications.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • technological advancements
  • medical discoveries
  • life-changing inventions
  • innovations
  • solutions to human problems
  • enhancing quality of life
  • improvement of healthcare
  • transportation
  • communication
  • agriculture
  • energy sectors
  • eradication of diseases
  • prolongation of life expectancy
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • food security
  • developed world
  • underprivileged communities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: