Is it good for children to start using computers from an early age and spend long hours on it? Discuss the advantages and disadvantages. Explain your choice by using specific reasons and details.

Starting
using
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to use
show examples
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
from
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
age
can benefit children in many ways.
This
can have many
advantages
as well as
, many
disadvantages
.I will discuss both
advantages
and
disadvantages
and
then
i
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I
show examples
will share why
advantages
are more than
disadvantages
. If a child starts using
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
from
small
Correct word choice
a young
show examples
age
.He will learn different skills very quickly
according to
his
age
.
In addition
, someone who has spent enough
time
with
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
willl
Correct your spelling
will
not have to worry about his job after the completion of his studies.
Furthermore
,He will be able to support himself and his family as
,
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apply
show examples
he will have
option
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the option
show examples
of online work
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is only possible if he
had spent
Wrong verb form
spends
show examples
much
time
on
computer
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the computer
show examples
.
For instance
, My friend Ali is now
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
freelancing and
i
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I
show examples
am still unemployed. He is doing an online job
this
become possible for him because he started using
computer
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the computer
a computer
show examples
from small
age
and he was learning skills when we used to play football.
On the other hand
, Starting
using
Change the verb form
to use
show examples
computer
Add an article
the computer
a computer
show examples
when you are young can have various
disadvantages
.
Firstly
, if someone is young and he
spend
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spends
show examples
more
time
with his
computer
than playing physical games he can lose his
eye sight
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eyesight
show examples
because using screens for long hours can
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
eyes
Correct pronoun usage
his eyes
show examples
easily.
Secondly
,If a child is not taking part in physical sports he can easily become
lazy
Replace the word
lazier
show examples
than other children of
same
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the same
show examples
age
.
Therefore
,It can be very harmful at the same
time
. In conclusion,Children can become lazy and they might lose their
eye sight
Correct your spelling
eyesight
show examples
but the
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
they can learn at that
age
and
knowledge
Correct article usage
the knowledge
show examples
they can gain by spending
time
with computers can not be explained in words. So,
i
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I
show examples
will say that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
are more than
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
because we can use computers to learn skills
while
taking part in physical sports and
mentaining
Correct your spelling
maintaining
our health.
Submitted by Saad Kamal on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Pay attention to the logical structure of the essay as some parts seem slightly repetitive or vague.
task achievement
While the essay covers both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, the arguments can be further developed with more specific details and examples. Make sure each point is elaborated with strong reasoning and concrete evidence.
language accuracy
Work on reducing grammatical errors and improving sentence structure. This will help in conveying ideas more clearly and effectively.
lexical resource
Consider using a wider range of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
task achievement
You have effectively provided both advantages and disadvantages, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a conclusion that summarizes your main points and gives a clear stance, which helps in wrapping up your argument succinctly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technological fluency
  • Educational development
  • Critical-thinking skills
  • Physical activity
  • Inappropriate content
  • Social skill development
  • Addiction
  • Cognitive abilities
  • Multitasking
  • Digital literacy
  • Screen time
  • Digital divide
  • Online safety
  • Cyberbullying
  • Ergonomics
  • Parental controls
  • Child-proofing
  • Interactive learning
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