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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write 250 words essay in IELTS writing format

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place #ielts #format
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The question of whether
parents
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 or
schools
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 should be primarily responsible for teaching
children
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 to be good members of society is a subject of considerable debate. Both perspectives offer compelling arguments, each contributing to a holistic approach to child development. Those who believe that
parents
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 should teach societal
values
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 argue that
parents
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 are the first and most influential role models for
children
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. From an early age,
children
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 observe and imitate their
parents
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' behaviours, attitudes, and
values
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. The home environment is crucial in shaping a child's understanding of right and wrong.
Moreover
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,
parents
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 can provide personalized and consistent guidance tailored to their child's unique personality and needs. Through everyday interactions, discussions, and moral teachings,
parents
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 can instil
values
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such
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 as honesty, respect, and empathy.
Conversely
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, advocates for the role of
schools
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 emphasize the structured and standardized approach educational institutions offer.
Schools
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 are designed to provide a comprehensive curriculum that includes not only academic knowledge but
also
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 social and ethical education. They bring together
children
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 from diverse backgrounds, fostering a sense of community and exposing students to different perspectives. Programs
such
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 as citizenship education, group activities, and social studies effectively teach
children
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 the importance of cooperation, respect, and civic responsibility. In my opinion, a balanced approach is essential.
While
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parents
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 lay the foundational
values
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 and morals in their
children
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,
schools
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 play a critical role in reinforcing and expanding these teachings within a broader social context.
Schools
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 complement parental guidance by providing additional resources, diverse interactions, and a structured environment for learning about societal roles.
Therefore
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, a collaborative effort between
parents
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 and
schools
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 is the most effective way to nurture well-rounded individuals who can contribute positively to society.
Submitted by preetpatel2497 on

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task achievement
Your essay covers both views comprehensively and provides a clear opinion. To further enhance your Task Response, consider incorporating specific examples or studies to add more depth and evidence to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a strong logical structure with clear paragraphs and transitions. However, to achieve a higher score in Coherence and Cohesion, you could use a wider variety of cohesive devices to connect sentences and ideas even more smoothly.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion, and your conclusion neatly encapsulates your opinion.
logical structure
Each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, and the progression of ideas is logical and easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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