You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: • introduce yourself • explain the situation • say what action you would like the company to take.

#camera #home #company #representative #week #situation #action

Dear Sir/Madam I am writing

this

letter in order to complain about the faulty

camera

in my recent purchase from your

company

as well as

recommending the action

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

your

company

should take. I am Nilufar, one of your loyal customers. I have been living in Uzbekistan since I was born. And I always buy products from your

company

. Two weeks ago, I purchased a new

camera

for my brother which was supposed to be

birthday

Add an article

a birthday

show examples

gift from your

company

However

Add a comma

However,

show examples

when I got it home I discovered it had some problems.

Then

I returned the

camera

and spoke to the

company

representative a week ago. I am really disappointed with the

company

service because the

camera

has still not been prepared. As a regular

customer

Add a comma

customer,

show examples

I am particularly disappointed by

this

delay.

Moreover

Add a comma

Moreover,

show examples

I have not

facing

Change the verb form

faced

show examples

issue

Correct article usage

an issue

show examples

like that before my

last

purchace

Correct your spelling

purchase

Therefore

I suggest that you replace the

camera

for

Change preposition

with

show examples

another which works well. I look forward to receiving the replacement soon. Yours faithfully Nilufar Sharipova

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Mon Aug 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Some sentences could be clearer and more concise for better readability. For instance, 'I am writing this letter in order to complain about the faulty camera in my recent purchase from your company, as well as recommending the action the your company should take.' could be simplified and divided into two sentences.

task achievement

Overall, your letter responds well to the prompt and provides appropriate details such as who you are, what the problem is, and what you want the company to do. However, it might help to provide a bit more detail about the problem with the camera to strengthen your case.

task achievement

You have effectively introduced yourself and explained the situation clearly.

task achievement

Your letter is polite and maintains a suitable tone throughout, which is very appropriate for this context.

coherence cohesion

The structure of the letter is logical, with each paragraph focusing on a single idea.

coherence cohesion

Your greeting and closing are well-formulated and fit the formal nature of the letter.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

170 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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