IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You are going to have a family party in a private room in a hotel. Write a letter to the hotel manager. In your letter, say: ● why you need to use this private room ● what you need them to provide for the party ● inquire about the price of the food you are ordering

#party #room #hotel #manager #price #food
Dear hotel manager, I am writing
this
 letter to address the rental I made for a private room in your hotel, for December 10th. I'm renting the place to host a family party with about 15 people, some additional guests might show up; It will surely not grow above 20. The thing is, I am hoping for a big room to fit my whole family inside; I guess a 50-square-meter space would do the job.
Furthermore
, we'll be needing a video projector; the idea is to gather around and watch some old movies together.
In addition
, I thought of making the appetizers myself;
however
, I heard that your hotel has the most amazing catering service available in town;
thus
, I am
also
 asking for your services in that regard.
However
, I am not aware of how much it costs to hire your team for
such
 a service. Feel free to send me a message on my phone about how much that would cost. Yours faithfully, Daniel.
Submitted by Danarvelini on

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Greeting structure
Ensure that the letter starts with a proper greeting such as 'Dear [Hotel Manager's Name],' or 'Dear Manager,' to establish a clear and respectful beginning to the correspondence.
Closing structure
Include a formal sign-off at the end of your letter. A common closing for formal correspondence is 'Sincerely' followed by your full name.
Logical Structure
While your letter is structured to cover the various aspects of your request, consider enhancing the logical flow by organizing ideas in a more methodical sequence. This could involve dedicating one paragraph to describe the family party, another to room and equipment requirements, followed by a paragraph on catering services, then concluding with inquiries about cost.
Task Achievement
To achieve full task completion, make sure to answer all parts of the question with sufficient detail. While you did mention the need for the room and inquired about catering costs, it would be more complete if you specified exactly what you need the hotel to provide for the party (e.g., number of tables, chairs, types of dishes/food, etc.).
Writing Tone
Try to maintain a consistent and suitable formal tone throughout the letter. Avoid informal language and contractions, and opt for a more polite and professional vocabulary.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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