In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount that people can earn.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the drive to produce a better world, there
are
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is
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conflicting
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conflict
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regarding whether the authorities should let the people be paid higher wages or restrict them. I believe that individuals should
be received
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receive
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a good amount of payment. From one point of view, it is
a
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apply
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significant to ensure a stronger economy in the country. In
such
situations, by making sure the professionals are being paid with a reasonable amount of money.
For instance
, If the wage is higher , more and more people will
paying
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pay
be paying
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the taxes. As for the taxable income,
this
helps the government to build more
infrastrutures
Correct your spelling
infrastructures
infrastructure
such
as healthcare
centra
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centres
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and education.
Therefore
, I believe
this
will surely
helps
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help
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the territory to grow and advance.
Not to mention
,
third-world
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a third-world
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country.
Thus
, a long-term effect,
this
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apply
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might be useful for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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future generations and the prosperity of the community.
On the other hand
, some might argue that an inequality between the poor and the rich.
For example
, if a wealthy person
get
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gets
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big salaries
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a higher salary
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than the needy, the poorest individuals will become
more poor
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poorer
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.
However
, I totally disagree with the social stigma because every hard-working
workers
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worker
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are deserved
Wrong verb form
deserves
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a decent wage.
Hence
, if the highly-skilled workers not
getting
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get
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a good
Correct the article-noun agreement
good condition incentives
a good condition incentive
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condition
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conditions
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incentives
Correct word choice
and incentives
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,
this
results in many
with emigrate
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emigrating
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to other
country
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countries
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or conflict between the societies. In conclusion,
although
there is a disagreement in the nation regarding the payment, I strongly believe that people should be paid on behalf of their hard work,
while
investing
on
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in
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the interests of the economy and
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
generations.
Submitted by tifjong on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on one main idea, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument. Try to use better transitions between different points to achieve a smoother flow.
task achievement
Work on providing clearer examples that are closely linked to the main points you are making. This will help support your argument more effectively.
general
Avoid grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to ensure clarity. For example, avoid sentences like "individuals should be received..." and instead use "individuals should receive..."
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and you do touch upon both sides of the argument, but ensure each point is thoroughly developed.
task achievement
You have provided a clear opinion on the topic within the introduction, which is crucial for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, fulfilling the requirements for coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
The argument concerning the economic benefits of higher salaries is logically sound and valid.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • wealth inequality
  • economic growth
  • motivation
  • talent acquisition
  • consumer spending
  • tax revenue
  • redistributing wealth
  • market forces
  • income disparity
  • social stability
  • freedom of choice
  • meritocracy
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