Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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People hold differing views about key factors which act as role models to the children’s future prospective. Some people including myself consider immediate family to play an irreplaceable role in their offspring

while

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others believe that surrounding elements

such

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as friendships and media appear to be even more effective. On the one hand, a parent-child friendship is one of the first things that an infant experiences at their earliest stage which not only highlights the link between the premier caregivers and their young but

also

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promotes a secure attachment and a healthy emotional development. It is true that children are parent’s reflection, they observe their guardians, imitate them and pick up their habits

as well as

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behaviour

due to

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this

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, parents should be sensitively cautious in their manners if they want to set good examples for their adolescents. It is

therefore

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easy to understand why a number of societies hold

this

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side in

this

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debate.

On the other hand

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, television with a broad coverage of data either efficient or disruptive can amazingly draw little ones’ attention in the way that they spend seven hours on average which is far more than amount of the quality time they spend with their parents which is concerning.

However

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this

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could easily be regulated by their foster parents.

Moreover

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, some friendships especially those with a very close bond between the individuals involved leave significant marks on the main characteristics of one’s personality.

In addition

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, it is claimed that particular musics tend to be inspiring to minors and manipulate their brains under specific circumstances,

while

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this

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can be true it is not as important as a parent’s role in children’s lives. In conclusion. I can understand why some people convey the impression of Contributing elements with reasonable explanations, but it seems to me that first caregivers remain the most determinant feature in children's future.

mwoodman2Mon Aug 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Develop a clearer distinction between both views in separate paragraphs. This will improve the overall coherence and structure of the essay.

task achievement

Use more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Consider improving sentence variety to keep the reader engaged. Varying sentence length and structure can make the writing more dynamic and interesting.

coherence cohesion

The introduction effectively sets up the debate and clearly states your own position, which is a strong start to the essay.

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced view of both perspectives, discussing the influence of family as well as other factors like friends and media.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion succinctly summarizes your stance, reinforcing your initial argument. This brings a sense of closure to the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

primary influence
development
instill values
norms
emotional foundation
social skills
role modeling
socioeconomic status
opportunities
resources
external factors
peer influence
teenage years
impact mood
cultural understanding
environment
role models
social media
shaping modern childhoods

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Some people think that family has the most powerful influence on a child’s development, while others think that other factors such as television, friend, music have the biggest effects. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Your opinion

Write a letter to your penfriend. Advise him/her about the following: listening skills, speaking skills and vocabulary.

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Major cities in the world are growing fast, as well as their problems. What are the problems that young people living in those cities are facing? Suggest some solutions.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us longer pay attention to it.to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.