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Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below gives invormation about percentage of pupulation in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives invormation about percentage of pupulation in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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This
Linking Words
 graph illustrates information on the
percentage
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 of the population in four different Asian countries living in
cities
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 from the years 1970 to 2020
,
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apply
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 and
also
Linking Words
 predicts the number of
people
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 that will be living in the future from 2030 to 2040 based on previous analysis. The four different countries are the Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia. In 1970 it is seen from the graph that Indonesia had the
least
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lowest
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percentage
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 of
people
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 living in
cities
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 with approximately 15 per cent of the
people
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. It is
also
Linking Words
 viewed that Thailand is close enough to the Indonesian population living in
cities
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 but it has a slightly higher
percentage
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. Malaysia and the Philippines are the two highest countries that have the most humans living in
cities
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. From 1970 onward there is a gradual increase seen in the graph with each country and is expected to increase in the future which will conclude that the
cities
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 will become more populated. Malaysia is expected to be the
highest
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apply
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country with the
most
Correct word choice
highest
show examples
percentage
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 of
people
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 living in
cities
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, with an estimated more than 80 per cent of the population living in
cities
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, cities, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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