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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The table below gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The table below gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
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The table based on the people in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
 given certain periods between 1980 and 2002 was shown in that picture.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is visible from the table that, women's
population
Use synonyms
 was the greatest
while
Linking Words
 the average annual inhabitants growth was the lowest in specific periods of time in
Australia
Use synonyms
 and
Malaysia
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
,
Malaysia
Use synonyms
`s birth rate was higher than
Australia
Use synonyms
's,
in contrast
Linking Words
, the public aged over 65 in
Australia
Use synonyms
 was bigger than
Malaysia
Use synonyms
`s.
According to
Linking Words
 the information, the total number of citizens jumped from 14.7 to 19.6 between 1980 and 2002. In comparison, in
Australia
Use synonyms
, the male and female folks stayed stable during that time. They were at 49.9 and 50.1
However
Linking Words
, the birth rate was unpopular throughout
Australia
Use synonyms
 so it descended from 1.5 to 1.3.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the total society in
Malaysia
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 began at 13.7 and it increased to 24.3 during that specific time. Still, it was lower than the guy's
population
Use synonyms
. Average annual
population
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 growth dropped by 1%. The maximum result was 50.6 for men ,
in contrast
Linking Words
, the minimum was 2.1 for the average annual
population
Use synonyms
 increase in
Malaysia
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, malaysia, population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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