In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

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In today’s society, accommodation is important to all species. Some

people

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believe having an own

home

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rather than renting one is very essential for humans. In

this

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essay, I will explain the various positive statements and explain why I support my opinion with examples.

Firstly

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, owning a

home

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could provide financial security.

This

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means many

people

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see it as a good investment because its value can increase over the period.

Moreover

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, homeowners can have a valuable asset for their children.

Also

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, homeowners do not worry about rent increases, which can be stressful and interfere with achieving

people

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's goals and dreams.

Furthermore

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, building a

home

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also

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gives a sense of stability.

For example

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, nowadays many students

going

Wrong verb form

show examples

abroad for their studies. Meanwhile, they need a strong asset to show it.

On the other hand

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, buying a house requires significant initial investments, including an advance payment and transaction costs.

In addition

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, loans often stretch over decades, which burdens the owner with long-term financial obligations.

Home

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interest rates may change, which adds additional uncertainty to family financial planning.

For example

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, one leading university in China has researched mental health for new house owners. 50% of

people

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live with stress and tension because of their

home

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loan

Fix the agreement mistake

loans

show examples

. In conclusion,

While

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, it has disadvantages

such

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as buying a house requires significant initial investments, including an advance payment and transaction costs the advantages like financial security and a big asset for their children offers are undeniable.

Therefore

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, I strongly believe these positive statements far outweigh the drawbacks.

shruthiudhai7Tue Aug 06 2024

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Task Response

The introduction could be more concise and specific to the topic. Consider rephrasing the first sentence to directly mention the importance of homeownership in certain countries.

Task Response

Your main points are clear, but the examples provided could be more relevant to the specific context of owning a home versus renting. Try to relate examples more closely to the advantages and disadvantages discussed.

Coherence and Cohesion

There are some grammatical errors and awkward phrases that could be refined. For instance, 'many students going abroad for their studies' should be 'many students going abroad for their studies need.'

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the logical flow between paragraphs by using transition words or phrases. For instance, 'In addition to financial security...' could be used to transition between paragraphs.

Task Response

Your essay presents a clear structure with a well-defined introduction, body, and conclusion.

Task Response

You have successfully identified and explained several key reasons why homeownership might be important for people.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay maintains a consistent argument and supports your opinion with multiple points.

Coherence and Cohesion

You've attempted to provide examples and explanations to support your points, enhancing the overall coherence of the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

ownership
renting
importance
sense of security
stability
financial investment
asset
customize
decorate
belonging
community
potential
future generations
long-term
cost advantage
control
living space

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In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

People were happier in previous generations compared to now. To what extent do you agree? disagree

Some experts say that cyclists should take exams before they are allowed to ride on public roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Buying things on the internet, such as books, air tickets and groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?