Many people think that zoos are cruel. Others think they are helpful in protecting rare animals. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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The debate surrounding whether
zoos
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are facilitating animal conservation or just torturing them has sparked considerable controversy.
Although
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the latter opinion might be supported by many, I firmly believe that these specialized places offer substantial benefits to extinct
species
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due to
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the reasons the upcoming paragraphs elaborate on.
To begin
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with, there can be no doubt that
zoos
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are restricting numerous
animals
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from their natural habitat, resulting in a change in behaviour. The primary factor behind
this
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is that the
animals
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, especially wildlife, might feel intricate and face difficulties in adapting to new surroundings,
instead
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of living in forests.
Furthermore
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, they could experience discomfort and unpleasantness from tourists, since there is a multitude of people visiting them each day. To substantiate
this
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claim, research indicates that the root cause of death of most
animals
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in
zoos
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is illness
due to
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depression, as they tend to not feed themselves and suffer in silence. In essence, facilities provided by
zoos
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definitely could not replace their native environment.
Nevertheless
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, I contend that
zoos
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are providing excellent services in preserving endangered wildlife from totally disappearing from Earth.
This
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is of paramount importance because society plays a vital role in protecting those
animals
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in order to avoid food chain disruption that could bring detrimental consequences to biodiversity. Take the panda as the perfect example to encapsulate
this
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issue,
this
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species
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has a weak survival instinct and cannot survive alone in the wild,
therefore
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measures should be taken to protect pandas.
Additionally
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,
zoos
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are
also
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used as a convenient platform to educate people, especially the younger generations, on the knowledge of
animals
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. To put it another way, these animal shelters bring numerous advantages not merely to endangered
species
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, but
also
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to society. In conclusion, in light of what has been discussed, the discussion of
zoos
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being cruel or protective towards
animals
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remains a moot point.
Although
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some
species
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confront some obstacles, the advantages
zoos
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offer to benefit the
animals
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more and
hence
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outweigh the drawbacks. I concur with the viewpoint that these places are supporting wildlife to continue their life journey.
Submitted by maisarahamirah16 on

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coherence cohesion
To further improve your essay, ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear and singular focus. By doing so, your arguments will be more succinct and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Refine the use of connectors and transitional phrases between paragraphs to ensure an even smoother flow of ideas.
task achievement
Elaborate more on the negative aspects of zoos to provide a balanced perspective, which will further strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Avoid repetition of ideas and phrases; diversifying language use can make the essay more engaging and insightful.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion. This framing helps in presenting a coherent argument.
task achievement
Each main point is well-supported with specific examples, such as the mention of pandas, which effectively illustrates your arguments.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the debate clearly and thoroughly, which demonstrates a balanced understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure and flow of ideas are well-maintained throughout the essay, making it easy to read and understand.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • animal welfare
  • conservation
  • captive breeding
  • habitat
  • ethical issues
  • zoochosis
  • endangered species
  • genetic diversity
  • reintroduction programs
  • wildlife education
  • sanctuary
  • natural living conditions
  • artificial environments
  • behavioral enrichment
  • ecosystem
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