Many people think that zoos are cruel. Others think they are helpful in protecting rare animals. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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The debate surrounding whether

zoos

Use synonyms

are facilitating animal conservation or just torturing them has sparked considerable controversy.

Although

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the latter opinion might be supported by many, I firmly believe that these specialized places offer substantial benefits to extinct

species

Use synonyms

due to

Linking Words

the reasons the upcoming paragraphs elaborate on.

To begin

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with, there can be no doubt that

zoos

Use synonyms

are restricting numerous

animals

Use synonyms

from their natural habitat, resulting in a change in behaviour. The primary factor behind

this

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is that the

animals

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, especially wildlife, might feel intricate and face difficulties in adapting to new surroundings,

instead

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of living in forests.

Furthermore

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, they could experience discomfort and unpleasantness from tourists, since there is a multitude of people visiting them each day. To substantiate

this

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claim, research indicates that the root cause of death of most

animals

Use synonyms

zoos

Use synonyms

is illness

due to

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depression, as they tend to not feed themselves and suffer in silence. In essence, facilities provided by

zoos

Use synonyms

definitely could not replace their native environment.

Nevertheless

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, I contend that

zoos

Use synonyms

are providing excellent services in preserving endangered wildlife from totally disappearing from Earth.

This

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is of paramount importance because society plays a vital role in protecting those

animals

Use synonyms

in order to avoid food chain disruption that could bring detrimental consequences to biodiversity. Take the panda as the perfect example to encapsulate

this

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issue,

this

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species

Use synonyms

has a weak survival instinct and cannot survive alone in the wild,

therefore

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measures should be taken to protect pandas.

Additionally

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zoos

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are

also

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used as a convenient platform to educate people, especially the younger generations, on the knowledge of

animals

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. To put it another way, these animal shelters bring numerous advantages not merely to endangered

species

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, but

also

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to society. In conclusion, in light of what has been discussed, the discussion of

zoos

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being cruel or protective towards

animals

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remains a moot point.

Although

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some

species

Use synonyms

confront some obstacles, the advantages

zoos

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offer to benefit the

animals

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more and

hence

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outweigh the drawbacks. I concur with the viewpoint that these places are supporting wildlife to continue their life journey.

Submitted by maisarahamirah16 on Tue Aug 06 2024

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coherence cohesion

To further improve your essay, ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear and singular focus. By doing so, your arguments will be more succinct and easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

Refine the use of connectors and transitional phrases between paragraphs to ensure an even smoother flow of ideas.

task achievement

Elaborate more on the negative aspects of zoos to provide a balanced perspective, which will further strengthen your argument.

task achievement

Avoid repetition of ideas and phrases; diversifying language use can make the essay more engaging and insightful.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion. This framing helps in presenting a coherent argument.

task achievement

Each main point is well-supported with specific examples, such as the mention of pandas, which effectively illustrates your arguments.

task achievement

The essay addresses both sides of the debate clearly and thoroughly, which demonstrates a balanced understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Logical structure and flow of ideas are well-maintained throughout the essay, making it easy to read and understand.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

345 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

animal welfare
conservation
captive breeding
habitat
ethical issues
zoochosis
endangered species
genetic diversity
reintroduction programs
wildlife education
sanctuary
natural living conditions
artificial environments
behavioral enrichment
ecosystem

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Many people think that zoos are cruel. Others think they are helpful in protecting rare animals. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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Some people think that employers should not pay attention to the way their employees dress, because the quality of their work is more important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Information technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace. Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?