Many people think that zoos are cruel. Others think they are helpful in protecting rare animals. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

The debate surrounding whether
zoos
are facilitating animal conservation or just torturing them has sparked considerable controversy.
Although
the latter opinion might be supported by many, I firmly believe that these specialized places offer substantial benefits to extinct
species
due to
the reasons the upcoming paragraphs elaborate on.
To begin
with, there can be no doubt that
zoos
are restricting numerous
animals
from their natural habitat, resulting in a change in behaviour. The primary factor behind
this
is that the
animals
, especially wildlife, might feel intricate and face difficulties in adapting to new surroundings,
instead
of living in forests.
Furthermore
, they could experience discomfort and unpleasantness from tourists, since there is a multitude of people visiting them each day. To substantiate
this
claim, research indicates that the root cause of death of most
animals
in
zoos
is illness
due to
depression, as they tend to not feed themselves and suffer in silence. In essence, facilities provided by
zoos
definitely could not replace their native environment.
Nevertheless
, I contend that
zoos
are providing excellent services in preserving endangered wildlife from totally disappearing from Earth.
This
is of paramount importance because society plays a vital role in protecting those
animals
in order to avoid food chain disruption that could bring detrimental consequences to biodiversity. Take the panda as the perfect example to encapsulate
this
issue,
this
species
has a weak survival instinct and cannot survive alone in the wild,
therefore
measures should be taken to protect pandas.
Additionally
,
zoos
are
also
used as a convenient platform to educate people, especially the younger generations, on the knowledge of
animals
. To put it another way, these animal shelters bring numerous advantages not merely to endangered
species
, but
also
to society. In conclusion, in light of what has been discussed, the discussion of
zoos
being cruel or protective towards
animals
remains a moot point.
Although
some
species
confront some obstacles, the advantages
zoos
offer to benefit the
animals
more and
hence
outweigh the drawbacks. I concur with the viewpoint that these places are supporting wildlife to continue their life journey.
Submitted by maisarahamirah16 on

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coherence cohesion
To further improve your essay, ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear and singular focus. By doing so, your arguments will be more succinct and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Refine the use of connectors and transitional phrases between paragraphs to ensure an even smoother flow of ideas.
task achievement
Elaborate more on the negative aspects of zoos to provide a balanced perspective, which will further strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Avoid repetition of ideas and phrases; diversifying language use can make the essay more engaging and insightful.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion. This framing helps in presenting a coherent argument.
task achievement
Each main point is well-supported with specific examples, such as the mention of pandas, which effectively illustrates your arguments.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the debate clearly and thoroughly, which demonstrates a balanced understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure and flow of ideas are well-maintained throughout the essay, making it easy to read and understand.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • animal welfare
  • conservation
  • captive breeding
  • habitat
  • ethical issues
  • zoochosis
  • endangered species
  • genetic diversity
  • reintroduction programs
  • wildlife education
  • sanctuary
  • natural living conditions
  • artificial environments
  • behavioral enrichment
  • ecosystem
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