Some people argue that it is the government's responsibility to transport children to school while others believe that parents should do that. Discuss both views and give your opinion
It is said that the government should be in charge of kids' transportation,
while
others think that mothers and fathers have to take their Linking Words
children
to Use synonyms
school
themselves. Use synonyms
This
essay will make the case that Linking Words
although
Linking Words
parents
' workload will be lighter if kids ride the Use synonyms
school
bus, creating a family bond by driving them to Use synonyms
school
every day is more essential.
On the one hand, letting minors go to Use synonyms
school
by bus will put less burden on their Use synonyms
parents
. Use synonyms
That is
to say that adults can save a lot of time to prepare for their work since they don't have to spend an hour just to take their boys or girls to Linking Words
school
. Use synonyms
For example
, in the United States, most students of the country commute to Linking Words
school
by government transportation on a daily basis, and Use synonyms
this
results in the punctuality of office workers who have kids. Linking Words
However
, I do not agree with Linking Words
this
idea as Linking Words
parents
' company is very important to Use synonyms
children
's growth.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, adults can make a strong connection with Linking Words
children
by accompanying them on their way to Use synonyms
school
. Use synonyms
This
is something that can only be accomplished through the togetherness of family members because when going together, the younger and the older can communicate and share their feelings with each other. The youngsters Linking Words
then
will feel that they are protected by their Linking Words
parents
, encouraging the share of emotions. Use synonyms
For instance
, many pupils in Vietnam who are driven to class by their mom or dad said that they can talk about any topic with their Linking Words
parents
at ease. I totally agree with Use synonyms
this
idea because being well connected with adults at home is very necessary for the grown-up process of juveniles.
In conclusion, even though transporting Linking Words
children
to Use synonyms
school
by bus can reduce the strain Use synonyms
that is
put on Linking Words
parents
, a family bond and connection between mom, dad and son or daughter are more importantUse synonyms
Submitted by maymocsb on
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Grammar
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases. Proofreading to fix these minor issues would make the essay more polished.
Coherence and Cohesion
More cohesive transitional phrases between paragraphs could improve the flow of the essay.
Task Response
Make sure to explicitly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion to make it clearer that you are addressing both sides of the argument and giving your stance.
Examples
The essay provides relevant and specific examples to support its main points, contributing to a compelling argument.
Structure
Each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well-organized, reflecting coherence and logical flow.
Task Response
The essay thoroughly addresses both views and gives a clear opinion, fulfilling the task requirements effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?