Nowadays most people learn academic study in university, but others think we should encourage them to learn vocational skills more, do you agree or disagree?
Industrialization in contemporary society creates a substantial need for different sorts of proficient employees, especially those who have graduated from vocational institutions. I do agree with
this
view, but this
does not mean we can abandon academic colleges. In this
essay, I will explain my point of view.
First of all, the base knowledge for all vocations is delivered from educational schools, where pupils understand all the essential sciences. For example
, in order to be an electrician expert, you need to study about
the concept of partial differential equations and electrical circuits at theoretical academic universities. The second aspect is that not all forms of practical jobs could be appropriate for all students. Change preposition
apply
This
means only apprentices with skill, talent, or interest in a specific field can be encouraged. Otherwise
, it will not be wise to allow all learners to attend career schools. For example
, some pupils prefer to join the
literature class but Correct article usage
apply
not
Add a missing verb
do not
favor
math or physics classes; in Change the spelling
favour
such
scenarios, it would be unfair to force these schoolboys to be programmers in their future careers.
However
, despite the importance of academic colleges, we cannot deny the current surge in sectors such
as technology, medicine, space, etc.; this
creates a great demand for soaring numbers of skilled workers in the workplace. Therefore
, there are many countries, such
as India, that have started to focus on practical diplomas to provide the marketplace with these required workers.
In conclusion, there is no replacement for academic certificates even if there is an elevated request for talented workers. Because from academia, the base knowledge is initiated.Submitted by aisha_zain on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear response to the task with relevant ideas and examples. However, you could improve the depth of your arguments by providing more specific and detailed examples. This would enhance the strength of your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure and a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try to use more linking words and phrases to better connect your points and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
While your main points are well-stated, adding more supporting details and examples can further strengthen your arguments. Be more specific to increase the clarity and impact of your examples.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed both sides of the argument and provided a balanced point of view, which demonstrates an in-depth understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the context and your conclusion clearly encapsulates your main argument. This provides a strong framework for your essay.
task achievement
The points you raised are relevant and well-chosen, illustrating a clear understanding of the prompt and its implications.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite