Children spend a lot of time watching TV and playing computer game, however it does not help in improving their mental abilities. Do you agree or disagree?
There is no denying the fact that staying on the phone or watching
TV
is enjoyable, but it has its disadvantages. Use synonyms
While
some believe there is no harm in letting their Linking Words
children
spend most of their Use synonyms
time
in front of a Use synonyms
screen
, others strongly oppose it. In my opinion, excessive Use synonyms
screen
Use synonyms
time
can diminish Use synonyms
children
’s mental abilities. Use synonyms
This
essay will discuss how Linking Words
this
can cause Linking Words
children
to lose focus in school and weaken their social skills.
Use synonyms
To begin
with, Linking Words
children
may lack social skills Use synonyms
due to
excessive use of the internet, whether it involves watching videos or playing games. Linking Words
Children
who spend most of their Use synonyms
time
engaged in online activities or watching Use synonyms
TV
often have their lives Use synonyms
centered
around social media. Change the spelling
centred
Thus
, they lose the ability to socialize with other kids, which can negatively impact them in the future. Linking Words
For instance
, my brother spends so much Linking Words
time
playing online games that he struggles to communicate with the Use synonyms
neighbor’s
kids, who are his age. Change the spelling
neighbour’s
Therefore
, each household should set Linking Words
screen
Use synonyms
time
limits for their Use synonyms
children
to help improve their mental and social development.
Use synonyms
Secondly
, Linking Words
children
may lose focus in school and eventually become careless, which can affect their academic performance. When Use synonyms
children
spend excessive Use synonyms
time
watching Use synonyms
TV
and playing computer games, they often become addicted, prioritizing these activities over schoolwork, studying, or even sleeping. Use synonyms
Consequently
, they tend to lose focus in class Linking Words
due to
a lack of sleep. Linking Words
For example
, studies show that Linking Words
children
who spend most of their Use synonyms
time
online are generally less academically successful than those with limited Use synonyms
screen
Use synonyms
time
.
In conclusion, despite differing opinions, I argue that excessive Use synonyms
TV
watching and computer game playing do not benefit Use synonyms
children
’s mental abilities in any way. In fact, their abilities are likely to deteriorate without improvement, which is why setting Use synonyms
screen
Use synonyms
time
limits is crucial for both Use synonyms
children
and adults.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt clearly and provides a strong opinion. However, delve deeper into how screen time specifically affects mental abilities such as problem-solving or critical thinking skills.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay remains focused on mental abilities throughout. Mention more specific cognitive functions rather than general statements like 'lack focus in school.'
coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence by making smoother transitions between the points. For example, use transitional phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' or 'Furthermore.'
coherence cohesion
Vary sentence structures to enhance readability. Using a mix of complex and simple sentences will make your writing more engaging.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively set the stage and summarize your argument.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples to back up your points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is solid, and the paragraphs are well-organized.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.