Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other type of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #type #country

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Economic

progress

is a priority for many governments. Meanwhile, some of the local citizens consider other kinds of

progress

as important as economic

progress

. I think that all types of

progress

are equal because citizen’s satisfaction doesn’t depend only on the finances of the

country

. On the one hand, finances play a great role in a

country

’s development. When the economic condition is good, the city will improve more and more, because infrastructure, low taxes, and other factors which make local people happy, require a great deal of money.

For example

, let’s take a look at the United Arab Emirates. A

country

with perfect financial status. The

country

is picturesque

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and breathtaking and individuals are happy there.

On the other hand

, educational and medical

progress

are equally as important as financial. Decent conditions for studying will grow up literate and sensible people and the

country

will have more chances for a bright future. Medicine should be taken into account

as well as

the factors mentioned above.

Furthermore

, free treatment for diseases which require a great deal of money should be provided at least for people with financial problems , because it will have a positive impact not only on citizens, but

for countries

Replace the word

on the country's

show examples

reputation. By way of illustration - Turkey. Doctors are treated very well there and so patients are.

To conclude

, a

country

’s development will not depend only on finances, but medicine and education are

also

necessary for the nation. Only by balancing all these factors

together

Add a comma

together,

show examples

country

will develop.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Tue Aug 06 2024

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task achievement

Your essay provides a sensible balance between different types of progress: economic, educational, and medical. However, some arguments could be further developed to strengthen your point.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance the logical flow of your essay. This will improve the overall coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences could be rephrased for better clarity. For example, 'individuals are happy there' could be replaced with 'citizens enjoy a high quality of life.' This slight adjustment in phrasing will add more sophistication to your essay.

task achievement

You successfully included an introduction and a conclusion, providing a complete response to the task.

task achievement

You used relevant examples to support your points, such as referencing the UAE and Turkey.

task achievement

Your paragraphs each focus on clear, comprehensive ideas which demonstrate your viewpoints well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other type of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think the increasing business and cultural contact between countries brings many positive effects . Others say it causes the loss of national identities.Discuss both of these views and give your own opnion.

Some people claim many things that children are taught at school are a waste of time. Other people argue that everything taught at school is useful at some time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Although parents are responsible for raising a child, outside influence plays a key role in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some scientists think that there are intelligent life forms on other planets and messages should be sent to contact them. Other scientists think that this is a bad idea and would be dangerous. Discuss both view points and give your opinion

Schools should teach children good behaviour and introduce ideas of "right" and "wrong". It should not only be left to parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?