Some people think that good health is very important to every person, so medical services should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh the disadvantages?
Some believe that staying healthy is so crucial that medical services should be accessible to all,
therefore
profit-making companies should not run Linking Words
this
Linking Words
service
. Use synonyms
Although
private Linking Words
health
can provide high-quality Use synonyms
service
, Use synonyms
this
advantage is outweighed by its drawbacks to inequality and profitable treatments.
The most advantageous of private Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
care
is the quality of Use synonyms
service
. To put it simply, to become attractive, these companies invest significantly in facilities, patient Use synonyms
care
, etc, Use synonyms
thus
there will be a good experience for patients in the process of curing. Linking Words
However
, in many developed countries public hospitals are Linking Words
also
upgraded by the government to make them more accessible for residents, Linking Words
therefore
not only private hospitals have good Linking Words
service
but Use synonyms
also
public ones. Linking Words
As a result
, many residents choose public hospitals over private healthcare because of the downsides of it.
Linking Words
Nevertheless
, I think that private Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
care
has more disadvantages. Use synonyms
First,
the inequality will be increased because the Linking Words
service
is based on the patient’s ability to pay, leading to fewer options for low-income individuals, and aggravating the gap between the rich and the poor. Use synonyms
Secondly
, owing to earning money, the private providers usually prioritize the methods, and solutions that are more profitable or try to prolong the process of curing to receive more benefits from patients. Linking Words
Consequently
, private Linking Words
health
Use synonyms
care
is only suitable for affluent individuals.
In conclusion, I am not in Use synonyms
favor
of the opinion that profit-making companies operate medical services as private Change the spelling
favour
health
Use synonyms
care
because of unfair situations and financial cures, Use synonyms
although
these organizations can offer a high standard of Linking Words
service
for wealthy patientsUse synonyms
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task achievement
Your essay could be strengthened by including more specific examples to illustrate your points. For instance, mentioning specific countries or healthcare systems could provide a clearer picture.
task achievement
Ensure that your arguments are well-balanced by acknowledging the counterpoints more fully. While you did mention the high quality of service in private healthcare, you could elaborate a bit more on why some people might prefer this option despite the potential drawbacks.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a greater variety of cohesive devices to link your ideas together more smoothly. This will improve the flow of your essay and make it easier to follow your line of reasoning.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion. This helps frame your arguments effectively from the beginning and wraps them up nicely at the end.
task achievement
You have done a good job at addressing the task prompt comprehensively, discussing both sides of the argument before coming to a conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are clear and logically structured, making it easy to understand your main points and follow your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example