The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Music
plays an important role in
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
life to make it colourful and to cope with stress.
This
essay totally agrees with
this
idea, because listening to
music
impacts stress relief and helps to concentrate on personal improvement. Listening to
music
is one of the most effective ways to relax and stress management.
Music
can affect
people
’s emotion and their bodies.
According to
the data which is illustrated by WHO
music
helps to reduce deep depression and anxiety.
For
this
reason, psychologists use
music
therapy to treat patients.
For instance
, slower
music
can relax the brain and muscles, meanwhile, upbeat
music
can make
people
feel more optimistic and think positively.
Besides
, many gyms or fitness centers
put
Verb problem
use
show examples
trended or upbeat
music
to make
connection
Add an article
the connection
a connection
show examples
between
people
and exercise. Another reason is that the
last
generation is really into
music
and they use it to think critically. Researchers confirm that
people
, who listen to different genres of
music
, are able to acquire new knowledge and make a personal development. By listening to
music
,
people
can find out new ideas, create new things and live in their imagination.
For example
, reading the needed materials
while
listening to classical
music
seemed to help to memorize the new materials or information and make
this
process easier than without.
Also
,
music
, which is recorded in a foreign language, is useful
to break
Change preposition
for breaking
show examples
a language barrier,
to improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
listening skills and
to speak
Wrong verb form
speaking
show examples
a foreign language fluently. In conclusion, listening to
music
affects on person’s mood and mentality
such
as physically in daily life. It is recommended that person should make a list of
music
to personalize their individuality and reduce their anxiety.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your points with additional examples or by discussing potential counterarguments.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to use linking words and phrases effectively to enhance the flow between paragraphs and sentences.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures to avoid repetition and improve readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay introduces the main idea clearly in the introduction.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples to support the points made.
coherence cohesion
The essay concludes with a summary of the main points and a recommendation, which reinforces the argument.

Your opinion

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