The most important function of music is that it helps people reduce stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Music
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plays an important role in
human’s
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human
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life to make it colourful and to cope with stress.
This
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essay totally agrees with
this
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idea, because listening to
music
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impacts stress relief and helps to concentrate on personal improvement. Listening to
music
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is one of the most effective ways to relax and stress management.
Music
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can affect
people
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’s emotion and their bodies.
According to
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the data which is illustrated by WHO
music
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helps to reduce deep depression and anxiety.
For
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this
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reason, psychologists use
music
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therapy to treat patients.
For instance
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, slower
music
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can relax the brain and muscles, meanwhile, upbeat
music
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can make
people
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feel more optimistic and think positively.
Besides
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, many gyms or fitness centers
put
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use
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trended or upbeat
music
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to make
connection
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the connection
a connection
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between
people
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and exercise. Another reason is that the
last
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generation is really into
music
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and they use it to think critically. Researchers confirm that
people
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, who listen to different genres of
music
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, are able to acquire new knowledge and make a personal development. By listening to
music
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,
people
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can find out new ideas, create new things and live in their imagination.
For example
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, reading the needed materials
while
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listening to classical
music
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seemed to help to memorize the new materials or information and make
this
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process easier than without.
Also
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,
music
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, which is recorded in a foreign language, is useful
to break
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for breaking
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a language barrier,
to improve
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improving
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listening skills and
to speak
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speaking
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a foreign language fluently. In conclusion, listening to
music
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affects on person’s mood and mentality
such
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as physically in daily life. It is recommended that person should make a list of
music
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to personalize their individuality and reduce their anxiety.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your points with additional examples or by discussing potential counterarguments.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to use linking words and phrases effectively to enhance the flow between paragraphs and sentences.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures to avoid repetition and improve readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay introduces the main idea clearly in the introduction.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples to support the points made.
coherence cohesion
The essay concludes with a summary of the main points and a recommendation, which reinforces the argument.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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