Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#countries #service #men #school #idea #system #women

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The debate surrounding whether military

service

Use synonyms

should be mandatory for all juveniles who have completed their secondary education or not has sparked considerable controversy.

It is clear that

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this

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situation is not as straightforward as it first appears,

therefore

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I would like to discuss both perspectives in the upcoming paragraphs.

To begin

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with, there can be no doubt that military

service

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is capable of instilling a sense of patriotism in the younger generation, resulting them to have a burgeoning interest in contributing to their nations and reciprocating the privileges they received from the government.

Furthermore

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, the intense training that

this

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service

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provides could shape a stronger individual, both physically and mentally. Take the Korean military

service

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as the perfect example to encapsulate

this

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issue; since Korea implemented

this

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policy decades ago, it has one of the strongest soldiers in the world nowadays. In essence, the need for young men to join the military

service

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offers substantial benefits to individuals and nations.

On the other hand

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, the drawbacks of

this

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sentiment should not be overlooked. Teenagers cannot be forced to participate in something that they are not passionate about.

This

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is of paramount importance because it could lead to detrimental consequences to an individual’s mental health, as it can cause depression and anxiety. To illustrate, a professional therapist once mentioned that students who were forced to pursue courses that they did not prefer tend to have suicidal thoughts

due to

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the immense pressure and obstacles they faced. To put it another way, making soldier training compulsory for everyone is not an effective method as it could affect individuals’ well-being. In conclusion, in light of what has been discussed, it is worth noting that there are both advantages and disadvantages to

this

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sentiment.

Although

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military

service

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is able to shape a brighter future generation, individuals’ decisions

also

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should be taken into consideration.

Submitted by maisarahamirah16 on Wed Aug 07 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve your essay, try to ensure that your introduction and conclusion are more explicitly connected to the main arguments presented. This will create a stronger sense of closure.

task achievement

While your examples are relevant, consider adding more specific and diverse examples to solidify your arguments even further.

coherence cohesion

Your essay presents a logical structure that makes it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.

task achievement

Your main points are well-supported with relevant examples, enhancing the overall argument of your essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

310 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Compulsory
Military service
Conscription
Patriotism
National security
Social equality
Discipline
Physical fitness
Life skills
Job training
Infringement
Conscripts
Gender equality
Mandatory
Economy
Education system
Labor market
Civil service
Alternative forms
Balanced view

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Many countries have compulsory military service for young men after they leave school. It would be a good idea for all countries to adopt this system for men, and possibly for women too. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that charities should help people in need no matter where those people are in the world,Others feel that these organizations should only serve the people living in the country where they are based Discuss both sides and give your own view.

internet users as percentage of population in 3 countries from 1999 to 2009

With deforestation, urban development and illegal hunting, many animal species are becoming endangered as they lose their habitat and some are even threanted to the point of extenction. Do you think it is important to protect animals? What measures can be taken to deal with the problem.

Some people prefer to live in hot climates. whereas others love the lifestyles in countries with cold climate. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Students should have physical activity as a compulsory subject at school on a regular basis. Why is it beneficial for students to participate in physical activity? Which sports do you think are the safest physical activity?