Some people believe that it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #idea #work

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It is widely believed that elder

people

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should join work if they would like to.

While

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many

people

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disagree with

this

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argument, I think that it is a good idea for them. Working helps them feel happier despite their old age and lack of flexibility. When retiring, the old tend to live alone because of the lack of

time

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for the arrival of their sons, and daughters.

Therefore

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, keeping their work is one of the ways that they can spend their

time

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. To be more specific, many elder

people

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in Japan decide to work

instead

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of staying home. Many newspapers

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apply

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and organizations assume that working helps them stay away from the feeling of being alone.

This

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emotion may get worse and become stressful if it happens for a long

time

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. Not only preventing them from the feeling of being alone

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apply

show examples

but

also

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helping them enhance the financial burden on their sons and daughters. In many poor families, earning money is one of the reasons that elder

people

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decide to keep working. Even if the amount of money they get is not much, it

also

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supports their daughters and sons.

Moreover

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this

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idea may help them stay in a healthy life, which prevents them from being ill and can get tons of money.

In addition

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, their decision helps their children

who

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apply

show examples

can concentrate on their careers

instead

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of spending most

time

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taking care of them. In conclusion, despite some negative opinions about

this

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topic, I keep holding onto the idea that

this

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helps a lot not only elder

people

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but

also

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in many aspects of their lives.

Submitted by lyhuongclc on Wed Aug 07 2024

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task achievement

Ensure a more balanced approach by addressing possible counterarguments, such as potential health risks associated with older individuals continuing to work.

coherence cohesion

Work on grammar and sentence structure to enhance overall clarity and accuracy in the essay.

introduction conclusion present

The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.

relevant specific examples

The essay makes good use of specific examples, particularly the mention of elder people working in Japan, to support the arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

266 words

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Some people believe that it is a good idea that older people continue to work if it is possible for them to do. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impacts of aging population

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this .

Some people think there is no need for professional photographers as everybody knows how to click pictures. What is your opinion? Include any relevant personal experience and knowledge

in many countries around the world ,rural people are moving to cities,so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?