IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Success is often measured by wealth and material possessions. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What makes a successful person?

#success #wealth #possessions #measure #person
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Wealth and property are frequently known as the main factors of
success
Use synonyms
. In my opinion,
while
Linking Words
 riches can be one indicator of
success
Use synonyms
, it is not necessarily the best or only scale. I am
also
Linking Words
 convinced that a successful person defines qualities
such
Linking Words
 as a strong
work
Use synonyms
 ethic, emotional stability, and a willingness to learn and grow. It is my view that wealth,
although
Linking Words
 significant, should not be the only determinant of
success
Use synonyms
. True
success
Use synonyms
 contains various aspects of life, including personal happiness, health and wellness, and strong relationships with family and friends.
For instance
Linking Words
, an individual who has achieved substantial financial
success
Use synonyms
 but suffers from health problems or broken relationships can not be considered successful. Personal growth and fulfilment are
also
Linking Words
 crucial, as they contribute to one's
overall
Linking Words
 sense of purpose and well-being. I
further
Linking Words
 believe that a truly successful person is characterized by hard
work
Use synonyms
, a strong
work
Use synonyms
 ethic, and a continuous desire for self-improvement. Emotional stability is another vital component, as it allows individuals to put up with challenges and maintain flexibility in the face of difficulties.
Additionally
Linking Words
, successful people often engage in regular planning, setting clear goals, and devising strategies to achieve them.
For example
Linking Words
, a manager who diligently plans and adapts their business strategies
while
Linking Words
 maintaining a positive attitude towards learning from failures demonstrates true
success
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
while
Linking Words
 wealth can be one indicator of
success
Use synonyms
, it is not necessarily the best or only measure. From my perspective, a successful person is hard-working, has a strong
work
Use synonyms
 ethic, shows a willingness to learn and grow, and maintains emotional stability, all of which contribute to a fulfilling life.
Submitted by aliaghanjd74 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure thorough explanation of examples to better illustrate points, particularly how specific instances relate to the wider argument.
coherence and cohesion
To achieve a top score, focus on refining word choice and avoiding repetition to improve the overall flow of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion, which enhances readability.
coherence and cohesion
There is a logical progression of ideas, making the argument easy to follow.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the prompt, addressing multiple dimensions of success beyond wealth.
task achievement
Main points are supported well, contributing to a solid argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Affluence
  • Materialism
  • Fulfillment
  • Well-being
  • Philanthropy
  • Societal norms
  • Personal growth
  • Economic power
  • Subjective
  • Humanitarian
What to do next:
Look at other essays: