Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at least 7 years old. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays people have two different views about
education
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the education
show examples
system,some individuals believe that infants should start their formal
education
quite young,
while
others argue that they should begin after turning seven years old.
this
essay,
discuss
Correct subject-verb agreement
discusses
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both sides of the argument and
explain
Correct subject-verb agreement
explains
show examples
why I totally agree
with
Change preposition
apply
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that formal
education
should begin at least 7 years old. On the one hand, those who support the idea of starting
education
earlier than usual argue that
this
is very important for the fundamental development of the child, allowing him to acquire several necessary skills.
In addition
, many scientists have researched that children learn faster by comparing them to a sponge. They claim that
this
phenomenon is
due to
an unrealized brain and the ability to form multiple connections through experience.
On the other hand
, proponents of starting the educational process after the age of seven believe that
this
allows children to develop individually and physically.
Following
this
plan can be of great benefit in terms of establishing strong connections with peers and learning valuable skills that you won't learn in school,
such
as budgeting and self-sufficiency.
In addition
, the child may not be as hyperactive as he might have been at an earlier age.
To sum up
,
this
essay,
discussed
Wrong verb form
discusses
show examples
both of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
views and
explained
Wrong verb form
explains
show examples
why I totally agree
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that formal
education
should begin at least 7 years old.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas within and between paragraphs. Ensure that each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next, maintaining a clear and consistent thread throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Expand on the introduction and conclusion to firmly outline and wrap up the key points discussed. Make your stance more explicitly clear and provide a stronger summary in the conclusion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to back up your points. Detail what skills children may gain or miss out on by starting formal education earlier or later. This will make your arguments more compelling and concrete.
task achievement
The essay addresses both viewpoints, presenting arguments for starting education early and for starting at age seven.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion restates the main viewpoints and the author's opinion, providing closure to the essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • social development
  • structured learning environments
  • essential skills
  • reading, writing, and arithmetic
  • social norms
  • undue stress and pressure
  • natural curiosity and creativity
  • unstructured play
  • emotional and psychological development
  • mature
  • rigors of formal education
  • natural developmental timeline
  • life skills
  • decision-making
  • problem-solving
  • informal learning
  • structured educational system
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