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Band 7.5

In many cities the use of video cameras in public places is being increased in order to reduce crime, but some people believe that these measures restrict our individual freedom. Do the benefits of increased security outweigh the drawbacks.

#cities #video #cameras #places #crime #people #measures #freedom #security
In recent years, the installation of public cameras has increased to aim to reduce the criminal rate in many cities.
However
, some people are worried that individual freedom is limited. In my view, I believe that the increasing security in public places are more beneficial than drawbacks. Camera surveillance plays an extremely important role in detecting criminals in a local area. With surveillance via video, local authorities can find and capture offenders to keep safety for a residential community.
For example
, CCTV is installed on many roads and highways to avoid overspeeding and overcrossing in the red light signals, it significantly reduces transport accidents
as well as
 death rates and cuts down stress for hospitals because of car accidents. Tracking and finding missing persons and objects in public places helps police investigate potential risks in society based on videos supplied via CCTV.
For example
, if someone loses an item
such
 as a passport, phone or wallet, they can report it to the police station and they track the moving routes of visitors and find the lost items easily in Japan.
Additionally
, crimes are targeted at young children who are easily kidnapping and selling to other nations.
Consequently
, police can track information and trace the criminal activities to rescue the children of the criminal line and get back to their families safely.
Although
 CCTV may limit personal freedom, it helps authorities prevent the community and society from criminal attacks. Ensuring road safety and residential areas are high reasons security must over the drawbacks.
Submitted by elizaluu94 on

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task response
Your essay effectively addresses the task prompt by providing a balanced discussion of the benefits and drawbacks of increased video surveillance. However, ensure that the conclusion summarizes your main points more clearly to strengthen your overall response.
coherence c
Provide more explicit topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to improve readability. This will help guide the reader through your main points more effectively.
task achievement
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your main points, such as the use of CCTV in Japan and on roads and highways.
coherence c
Logical structure is maintained throughout the essay, allowing the reader to follow your argument with clarity.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Surveillance cameras
  • Public safety
  • Deterrent
  • Evidence collection
  • Apprehend perpetrators
  • Public spaces
  • Invasion of privacy
  • Civil liberties
  • Abuse of power
  • Misuse
  • Cost implications
  • Monitoring
  • Maintenance
  • Essential services
  • Justice system
What to do next:
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