Some people argue that it is the government's responsibility to transport children to school while others believe that parents should do that. Discuss both views and give your opinion
Some people argue that
governments
should help children
to go to educational institutions, whereas
others debate that this
is the responsibility of parents
. In this
essay, I will illustrate both viewpoints and think that transporting children
to schools
is the obligation of parents
rather than administrations.
On the one hand, in certain countries, it is true that governments
should take the major responsibility for sending children
to school because their parents
suffer excessive pressure in terms of their jobs. A typical example is in some developing countries like India. In general, the public must pay considerable attention to building local infrastructures, such
as sports centres, department stores, and public transit, thereby improving their quality of life. However
, owing to abundant manpower to develop, undoubtedly, they cannot spend sufficient time on their children
, especially picking up and transporting them to schools
As a result
, this
is why their governments
should support resources for sending young people to schools
.
On the other hand
, conversely
, parents
sending children
to schools
may be an ordinary phenomenon due to
adequate time to transport. For instance
, many developing countries, such
as Taiwan, Japan, and Beijing, are consistently sending pupils to learn from their parents
as they have comprehensive financial resources and sufficient time to accompany their children
generally. In addition
, much educational research indicates that there is more likely to content children
's physical and mental development by parents
compared with governments
.
From my personal perspective, sending children
to schools
by parents
outweighs that of governments
. One primary reason is that parents
can provide a closer relationship with their children
. Additionally
, parents
may have a higher likelihood of presenting holistic caring for children
, assisting them to grow rapidly. For example
, compared with the administration's support, parents
may realize more about their son or daughter, take more care of them, and fulfil their physical and mental requirements.
To sum up
, while
some support that governments
transporting pupils to schools
is a better decision, other people and I argue that parents
sending children
to educational institutions may be a more appropriate choice. Furthermore
, children
can receive better care from parents
due to
the closer relationship.Submitted by daniellin0717 on
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task response
While your essay is well-organized and your argument is clear, ensure that the points you raise in support of both views are equally strong to present a balanced discussion.
coherence and cohesion
There is one sentence that is unclear in the paragraph about governments' responsibility: 'In general, the public must pay considerable attention to building local infrastructures...'. Rewriting this for clarity will make your argument stronger.
coherence and cohesion
You have provided a well-structured essay with clear and distinct paragraphs that enhance readability.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are concise and effectively summarize your main points, providing a clear stance on the issue.
task response
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your main points, making your argument more convincing.
task response
Your ideas are comprehensive and clearly communicated, contributing to a strong overall task response.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.