Nowadays, people live longer after retirement. What are the problems for individuals and society? What can be done to solve these problems?
In modern
society
, people’s life expectancy has risen significantly. But it brings challenges to individuals
and society
, like economic pressure and the need for more healthcare
services
. Forecasting future financial needs and saving for them can help reduce the problem to some extent. Additionally
, by improving lifestyle, the need for medical services
can also
be reduced.
One of the biggest retirees’ problems
is the financial burden that by predicting them can probably solve problems
. People living longer after retirement
means a longer period of time spent without working and earning an income. This
can lead to financial stress for individuals
and their families. To solve this
problem, there are several possible solutions. One is to encourage individuals
to save for their retirement
early on in their working lives. Another possible solution is to reform the pension system. This
may involve increasing the retirement
age, it may be useful to both individuals
and society
. The reason why retirees benefit society
is because of their retirement
experiences.
Furthermore
, one problem that arises is that there is an increased need for healthcare
services
among retirees, which poses a financial burden for the
Correct article usage
apply
society
and the government. In addition
, more emphasis should be placed on promoting healthy lifestyles and preventive healthcare
to reduce healthcare
costs and improve quality of life in older age. Governments could also
encourage older people to continue working part-time or volunteering to maintain an income and keep active.
In conclusion, while
retiring today brings the benefit of a longer life, it also
creates problems
like lack of income and increased use of healthcare
services
. From my perspective, we can address these problems
to some extent by saving money, working longer, and changing our lifestyles.Submitted by ghorabibita on
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task achievement
The introduction clearly states the problem and a general solution, but it could be more specific about the broader implications for society. It is important to outline briefly what issues will be discussed and how they can be addressed in the introduction.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, mention specific retirement savings plans or health initiatives that have been successful.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph sticks to one main idea for clearer, more focused writing. Try to elaborate more on each point and connect them to each other for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
While the essay contains logical structure, the transition between ideas could be smoother. Using cohesive devices can help to connect different sections of your essay more fluidly.
task achievement
The essay comprehensively addresses both individual and societal problems related to increased life expectancy post-retirement and provides possible solutions for each.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion frame the essay well, summarizing the main points and solutions effectively.
coherence cohesion
The main points are mostly supported with logical reasoning and examples are suggested for improvement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.