In many countries, people now wear western clothes such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #clothes #suits #jeans #case #development

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In the contemporary era, residents would select Western clothes rather than traditional customs.

This

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essay maintains that

this

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phenomenon occurs

due to

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the convenience of current fashion and benefits the citizens' economy. It must be obvious to acknowledge that modern-day clothing like jeans and T-shirts are functional. Compared with traditional

attire

Use synonyms

, their construction often includes features like sturdy fabrics, comfortable cuts, and versatile styles that accommodate a range of movements.

For

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this

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reason, not only are they comfortable and durable, but

also

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adaptable to different contexts.

Hence

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this

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practicality makes them a more popular choice for everyday use, contributing to their widespread adoption globally. Take Nike as a contextual example, in which customers prioritize its shoes over their local ones because

this

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brand has invested in technologies like Air Max cushioning, Flyknit materials for a sock-like fit, and responsive soles that return energy with each step. From

this

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writer's perspective, the shift toward favouring Western-style clothing over traditional

attire

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is a positive adaption on account of the financial gain. Thanks to mass production, the cost of Western wear is more affordable than the handcrafted customary ones.

Due to

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this

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factor, individuals with limited finances will have more opportunities to amass substantial savings by opting for affordable clothing purchases, so they free up funds for allocation towards other essential needs or investment purposes.

This

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scenario unfolds during the annual event known as Black Friday when shoppers can purchase Western clothing at a 50% discount.

Hence

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, the transition towards preferring Western-style clothing over traditional

attire

Use synonyms

is a beneficial adjustment

due to

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its financial advantages. To recapitulate, people in modern times tend to choose Western

attire

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over traditional garments in light of its practicality and ease of use.

Therefore

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, the prevalence of

this

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trend proves advantageous

as a result

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of the economic benefits it yields.

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coherence cohesion

The essay could benefit from a clearer delineation between the reasons why people prefer Western clothing and why it is seen as a positive development. Consider using separate paragraphs for each reason and its corresponding positive or negative impact to enhance clarity.

task achievement

Strengthen the argument by discussing counterpoints or potential negative impacts of adopting Western attire. This will provide a more balanced perspective and demonstrate critical thinking.

task achievement

Ensure consistency in the use of terms. For example, 'customs' at the beginning might be better replaced with 'attire' or 'clothing' to avoid confusion.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, encapsulating the main arguments effectively within the word count.

logical structure

The structure of the essay is logical, with ideas flowing naturally from one paragraph to the next.

task achievement

Relevant and specific examples, such as the reference to Nike and Black Friday, are used effectively to support the main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

302 words

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In many countries, people now wear western clothes such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut subjects such as arts and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on subject such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction for all workers? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

Differences between countries become less evident each year. Nowadays, all over the world people share the same advertising, brands, eating habits and TV channels. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of these fashions

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.

In some countries, students pay their college or university fees, while in some others, the government pays for them. Do the advantages of governments paying for fees outweigh the disadvantages?