The  process below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

The given picture illustrates information about how
sugar
is produced from
the
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apply
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sugar
cane.   At a glance, it is apparent that, the process by which the
sugar
is produced
by
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in
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different ways. There are eight steps which
is starting
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start
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with growing and 
ending
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end
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with drying and cooling.   
Firstly
, looking at progress in detail, the process begins at the
sugar
canes are grown for 12 or 18 months.
Then
, it is harvested by special  machines or people. Before juice is purified in a limestone filter, the
sugar
canes are crushed by special
marchinery
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machinery
. After the juice
purified
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is purified
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, it will be turned into syrup by
evaporator
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an evaporator
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.   
The next step is
that, after the juice has been converted into syrup, the
sugar
crystals are
separeted
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separated
by a centrifuge.
Finally
,
end
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the end
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product is sent to the
last
stage, where the
sugar
is
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dried
dry
dryed
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dried
and cooled
Submitted by shakhzod0905 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to include an introduction that briefly outlines what the diagram shows without repeating the task description. This will improve the overall coherence and make your essay sound more professional.
task achievement
Ensure that all stages in the process are clearly described and that you mention specific details where relevant. This will help in showcasing a thorough understanding of the process.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to enhance readability. Minor grammatical errors can detract from the overall clarity of your essay.
coherence cohesion
You have logically broken down the process into clear stages, making it easy for the reader to follow.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains an appropriate amount of detail and follows a logical order, which is essential for a process description.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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