More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people say that raising the prices of fast food will solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many
people
nowadays have high levels of weight . Fast food
is the main reason of overweight and the government should put taxes for
it and Change preposition
on
prices
must be more high
. In Replace the words
higher
this
essay
I will write about two points of view .
Add a comma
essay,
Firstly
, Correct article usage
a human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
human
who eats always from Add the comma(s)
human,
resturants
Correct your spelling
restaurants
on
the future Change preposition
in
he
will be sick . Correct pronoun usage
apply
Secondly
, fast food
destroy
Change the verb form
destroys
the
human health so Correct article usage
apply
resturants
managers must make the price of Correct your spelling
restaurants
restaurant
this
food
the highest between
all types of Change preposition
among
food
. Moreover
, when the prices
go on not all people
will can
buy it because not all Remove a modal verb
apply
people
are riches . Also
, human
will buy healthy Fix the agreement mistake
humans
food
from markets like vegetables , fruits and meets when they see the high prices
of fast food
.
In addition
, human
who Fix the agreement mistake
humans
are
really love fast Unnecessary verb
apply
food
he
will buy it Correct pronoun usage
apply
although
Change preposition
at
the
huge price . Correct article usage
a
Besides
, high prices
is
not always Change the verb form
are
reason
to stop Add an article
a reason
eat
it because Change the form of the verb
eating
man
who Correct article usage
a man
love
it absolutely Correct subject-verb agreement
loves
he
will work hard to get money and buy it .Correct pronoun usage
apply
Additionally
, not all people
did not
buy unhealthy Verb problem
apply
food
because they did
not Wrong verb form
do
had
money to buy it maybe they can not eat it or they Change the verb form
have
did
not like it so there are more reasons to not eat fast Wrong verb form
do
food
.
To conclude
, raising the prices
of fast food
not
a Add a missing verb
is not
sullotion
Correct your spelling
solution
for
obesity . Change preposition
to
Finally
, there are many types of people
poors
and Correct your spelling
poor
richs
and not all of them can buy expensive Correct your spelling
riches
rich
food
thats meen
raising the Correct your spelling
That means
prices
of fast food
some times eill
Correct your spelling
will
be
solve Unnecessary verb
apply
this
problem and
Correct word choice
but
some times
Correct your spelling
sometimes
no
.Correct your spelling
not
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task achievement
The essay needs a clearer and more concise thesis statement to outline the writer's stance. For instance, instead of stating 'In this essay I will write about two points of view,' consider specifying your position on the issue.
task achievement
Develop your points further by providing specific examples, studies, or statistics to make your arguments more persuasive and relevant.
coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay has a clear structure: introduction, body paragraphs with one idea each, and a strong conclusion restating your argument and summarizing key points.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs more effectively. Start each body paragraph with a topic sentence that states the main point, followed by supporting sentences with examples and details.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and vocabulary usage to make your essay clearer and more professional. Misuse of words can lead to misunderstanding of your arguments.
task achievement
The writer has made an effort to address both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the topic's complexity.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical progression through the essay, with points following each other in a coherent manner.
task achievement
The essay touches upon important issues related to fast food and health, demonstrating awareness of real-world problems.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.