IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Modern technology,such as personal computers and the internet, have made it possible for many people to do their work from home atleast part of the time instead of going to an office everyday. What are some advantages and disadvantages of this situation?

#technology #computers #internet #people #work #home #atleast #part #time #office #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Modern technology,
for
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
, personal computers and the internet, have made it easier for many people to
work
Use synonyms
 from
home
Use synonyms
 at least sometimes
instead
Linking Words
 of going to an
office
Use synonyms
 every day. There are
advantages
Use synonyms
 and
disadvantages
Use synonyms
 of working from
home
Use synonyms
. Working from any place
instead
Linking Words
 of working from the
office
Use synonyms
 has some
disadvantages
Use synonyms
. By making everybody
work
Use synonyms
 from his own
home
Use synonyms
, some of them are not going to
work
Use synonyms
 as much as they can,
for
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
, they are going to take long breaks. People working from
home
Use synonyms
 can not have social contact, and the results of not having social contact can affect their
work
Use synonyms
 quality.
For
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
, my brother works as an assistant so one day the company that he works for decided to move their
work
Use synonyms
 to another country, so my brother told them that he could not move to live there, so he worked from
home
Use synonyms
 and he could not deal with customers .
However
Linking Words
, working from
home
Use synonyms
 has some significant
advantages
Use synonyms
. The company can afford a lot of money,
also
Linking Words
, employees can afford the gas money. Some employees can feel more comfortable
while
Linking Words
 they are working from
home
Use synonyms
, which going to increase their
work
Use synonyms
 rate.
Also
Linking Words
, they can
work
Use synonyms
 from any place at any time,
for
Linking Words
example
Use synonyms
 ,
before
Change preposition
apply
show examples
two weeks I was eating in a restaurant with my friend ,
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
and while
show examples
 , we were eating he was working . In conclusion, working from
home
Use synonyms
 or working at the
office
Use synonyms
 has
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
advantages
Use synonyms
 and
disadvantages
Use synonyms
, but it is going to affect the
work
Use synonyms
 quality in both decisions, so everyone can choose what suits them . In conclusion, working from
home
Use synonyms
 or working at the
office
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
advantages
Use synonyms
 and
disadvantages
Use synonyms
, but it is going to affect the
work
Use synonyms
 quality in both decisions, so
every one
Replace the word
everyone
show examples
 can choose what suits them .
Submitted by khalidashgar23 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Try to support your main points with more specific and diverse examples to strengthen your arguments and make your ideas clearer and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the coherence of your essay by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to create smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is important for coherence and cohesion.
task response
You have provided a balanced discussion by highlighting both advantages and disadvantages of working from home, which is good for task achievement.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: