Many people say that the only way to guarantee getting a good job is to complete a course of university education. Others claim that it is better to start work after school and gain experience in the world of work. How far do you agree or disagree with the above views?

Both
university
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education and early work experience have their merits when it comes to securing a good job, and the effectiveness of each path often depends on the nature of the career and individual goals. Personally, I partially agree that people who graduate from
university
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might have
jobs
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. The supporting reasons will be given throughout
this
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essay On the one hand, there are some crucial reasons why some groups of people succeed in life after attending
university
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. A
university
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environment
also
Linking Words
helps students develop critical thinking, research skills, and a broad understanding of their field. One important point to mention í capability, which is often related to a profession.
This
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is because certain
jobs
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mainly require
university
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graduates
,
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;
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as a result
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, employers may prefer to choose them.
In addition
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, having academic qualifications can lead to promotion to higher positions, which is vital in a person’s career
On the other hand
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, despite the advantages of completing
university
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, some argued that some famous
business men
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businessmen
show examples
who never went to
university
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still achieve significant goals based on their various experiences. Going to
university
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or completing
this
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academic job may not
become
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be
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the only way to have a significant career. Steve
Jobs
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, who had not finished his course in college, improved innovative technology, particularly in the Apple
organization
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organisation
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.
Moreover
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, his intelligence and creativity met people’s needs by designing high-tech products like the iPad, iPhone, and others.
Besides
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degrees, creativity, intelligence, and life skills are
also
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important for getting a good job. These qualities can lead to success and even contribute to global brands like Apple. In conclusion,
while
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a
university
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degree can help people access certain professions, work experience
also
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plays a vital role in gaining particle skills.
Therefore
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, I believe both paths can lead to good
jobs
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, depending on a person’s goals and the field they choose to pursue.

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task response
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, but it could be more direct about how much you agree or disagree. Make it clear if you truly think one option is better than the other.
coherence cohesion
You have good transitions between paragraphs, but some sentences could be clearer. Try to make sure your ideas flow smoothly from one to the next. Adding linking words can help.
task response
Your examples, like Steve Jobs, are relevant but could be expanded more. Include more details or other examples to support your points better.
content
You did well in discussing both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes your points, reinforcing your opinion on the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • critical thinking skills
  • specialized expertise
  • on-the-job training
  • work experience
  • financial independence
  • career growth
  • hands-on experience
  • balanced perspective
  • internships
  • part-time work
  • academic learning
  • vocational training
  • apprenticeships
  • personal circumstances
  • financial constraints
  • career goals
  • individual aptitudes
  • well-paying careers
  • satisfying careers
  • specialized training
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