It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for thier future. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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People

such

as young individuals should pay attention to storing currency for their future living. I firmly agree with

this

notion because it guarantees their lives in ageing.

In addition

, it helps them to spend their lives in adulthood independently. First and foremost, storing cash prevents the financial need for others during retirement. In fact, the young will be completely independent, and afford their special expenditures by themselves in future if they store money today.

For example

, in Iran, despite that old individuals suffer from types of illnesses

such

as high blood pressure or heart disease, they can pay for the vast majority of medical services without using insurance or taking loans from banks.

Furthermore

, everyone will experience a sense of peace and serenity in their personal lives in adulthood provided that they save payment , particularly some parts of their income in youth.

That is

, having currency allows them to provide the best facilities for themselves and their families.

For instance

, In Tehran, elderly people are able to purchase reasonable houses and cars or enrol their children in high-quality universities because they have had the foresight in past. In conclusion,

although

storing cash , especially during youth seems difficult, doing it is better

due to

it allows people to support the costs, and preserve their self-esteem.

Besides

, they enjoy a peaceful life eventually by buying a home or automobile.

Therefore

, I strongly agree with the idea that the public should plan

about

Change preposition

for

show examples

future years, and save their money.

Submitted by raha.roham1994 on Wed Sep 04 2024

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Try to avoid minor grammatical errors to improve the overall polish of your essay, such as 'their' instead of 'thier.'

content

Ensure that examples are varied and specific. Though the examples provided are relevant, diversifying them could add strength to your argument.

structure

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, staying relevant to the topic throughout.

content

You provide clear and comprehensive ideas with relevant examples to back up your points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

249 words

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It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for thier future. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

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