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Band 4

Many students choose to take a gap year before starting university, to travel or gain work experience. Do you think is a good idea or a waste of time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant exaxples from your own knowledge or experience

#students #gap #year #university #travel #gain #work #idea #waste #time #exaxples
In the past
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 a tendency
of taking
Change preposition
to take
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time
 off before attending university
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 grown strongly.Every
year
 more and more
schoolars
Correct your spelling
schoolers
 prefer to take a
year
 off before going to
academy
Add an article
the academy
show examples
.The
gap
year
 utility is agreed
,as
Change preposition
upon,as
show examples
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 outweigh
Correct article usage
the disandvantages
show examples
disandvantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
.
This
 essay will prove it by explaining the opportunities of taking
an
Change the article
a
show examples
year
 off.
Firstly
,the
gap
year
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
show examples
 minors who just finished
school
 to take their
time
 and think
who
Change preposition
about who
show examples
 they wanna be.
For instance
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 Cambridge University in the UK surveyed over 500 students in 2018 and reported that around 70% had completed a
gap
year
 before starting their chosen
course
,
while
 96% of students who had taken the
year
 off confirmed their
contemnent
Correct your spelling
contemned
 of
chosen
Add an article
the chosen
show examples
course
,others 30% of learners had only 86%
contemnent
Correct your spelling
contemned
 of
chosen
Add an article
the chosen
show examples
course
.
This
 shows that taking the
time
 off can actually help decide
goals
Change preposition
on goals
show examples
 in life before attending
academy
Correct article usage
an academy
show examples
.
Secondly
,the free
time
 can be
spended
Correct your spelling
spent
show examples
 on
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 and relaxing,preparing yourself for the academy
course
.
For instance
,Oxford University in 2020 constituted that those students who had taken a travel
year
 are more consistent and couraged for new knowledge.
This
 means the travel
year
 can be considered as the
year
 of well-deserved rest after a
school
 graduation,helping people to clear their minds and prepare
themselfes
Correct your spelling
themselves
show examples
 for the new learning. In conclusion,the
gap
year
 agreed
having
Change the verb form
to have
show examples
 a positive impact on just-graduated learners.It is recommended
taking
Change the verb form
to take
show examples
 the
year
 off after
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
 in case of
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 difficulties choosing
future
Correct article usage
a future
show examples
proffession
Correct your spelling
profession
 or
being
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 exhausted after long
school
 years.
Submitted by mexofors on

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task response
Your essay provides a reasonable amount of detail and examples to support your main points, but there are several grammatical errors and some awkward phrasing that affects clarity. Try to proofread your work or ask a friend to review it before submission to catch any minor mistakes. A few changes in vocabulary could also make your ideas clearer.
coherence cohesion
The organization of the essay can be improved. Your points are generally clear but the transitions between them are somewhat abrupt. Use more linking phrases or transitional words to make the flow of the essay smoother.
task response
Good conclusion! You summarize the main points well and provide a clear recommendation, which rounds off the essay nicely.
task response
You have included both personal examples and survey results to support your views, which enhances the persuasive power of your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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