In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
In today's society,
people
are living longer than they did in past decades. Therefore
, the question of whether an ageing population
leads to serious issues for governments or contributes to beneficial impacts on society has become a matter of considerable debate. This
essay will argue that an ageing population
causes more drawbacks than benefits.
There are several indicators that an increasing elderly population
leads to numerous pressing problems. For instance
, due to
aging
, they may suffer from chronic diseases Change the spelling
ageing
such
as diabetes, obesity, and other health issues. This
contributes to a significant increase in healthcare expenditure over time. Moreover
, many elderly people
live alone and lack family support, which, in turn, requires governments to seek volunteers to care for and assist them. These policies also
demand a large budget.
Even more importantly, some elderly people
are self-centered
, as they believe that everyone should respect them, which causes societal harm. A prime example is priority seating, where many elderly individuals force others to give up their seats, which not only undermines social cohesion but Change the spelling
self-centred
also
exacerbates the generation gap.
However
, it is undeniable that an ageing population
can bring about certain beneficial effects. For example
, their extensive life experience and knowledge allow them to pass on valuable information to the next generation, fostering a better society. Nevertheless
, such
cases are rare, as many elderly people
are unable to demonstrate friendly behavior
to others.
In conclusion, an ageing Change the spelling
behaviour
population
has become a pressing issue in the contemporary era, as it leads to many detrimental impacts in various aspects, which indicates that its drawbacks surpass its advantages.Submitted by zora840810 on
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Task Response
To further improve your Task Response score, consider deepening the discussion of benefits provided by an ageing population. Present more specific examples where elderly people contribute positively to society, and balance these against the problems caused.
Coherence and Cohesion
The coherence and cohesion in your essay are already strong. However, for even higher coherence, you can use more transitional phrases to further connect your ideas. For example, 'In addition,' or 'Conversely,' can help guide the reader through your arguments more fluidly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear and logical structure. Your introduction and conclusion are well-defined and effectively frame the argument.
Task Response
You have effectively presented and supported your main points, particularly the challenges associated with an ageing population. The essay remains focused on the topic throughout.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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