IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people no longer read newspapers or watch TV news programmes. Instead they get news about the world from the Internet. Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #newspapers #tv #news #programmes #world #internet #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The is no denying the fact that many people replaced the
news
Use synonyms
, from newspapers or watch
Use synonyms
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
news
Use synonyms
 programs to take the
information
Use synonyms
 of
news
Use synonyms
 from the
internet
Use synonyms
. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
 hand, there is a lot of
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
 to
Use synonyms
use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
 the
Internet
Use synonyms
 to
now
Correct your spelling
know
show examples
 what happen.
In addition
Linking Words
, you can now every new fast
also
Linking Words
, you can search
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 any event you
Add a missing verb
are interesting
show examples
interesting
Replace the word
interested
show examples
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 it.
Also
Linking Words
, easy to be updated when you
use
Use synonyms
 the
internet
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
internet
Use synonyms
publish
Change the verb form
publishes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information
Use synonyms
fast
Rephrase
faster
show examples
 than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
newspapers or
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
TV
Use synonyms
news
Use synonyms
programmes
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
 ,
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 the waste of
papers
Fix the agreement mistake
paper
show examples
. If you
use
Use synonyms
 the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 you can see the
information
Use synonyms
 from any place
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
computer
Correct article usage
a computer
show examples
 and mobile phone.Unlike
TV
Use synonyms
news
Use synonyms
programmes
Use synonyms
 it is difficult because there is
specific
Add an article
a specific
show examples
 time to see
this
Linking Words
 type of
Use synonyms
programmes
Fix the agreement mistake
programme
show examples
. The
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 On the
anther
Correct your spelling
other
show examples
 hand, the
information
Use synonyms
 from the
news
Use synonyms
 and
TV
Use synonyms
news
Use synonyms
programmes
Use synonyms
true
Add a missing verb
is true
show examples
 and
acquier
Correct your spelling
acquire
 it than the
information
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
internet
Use synonyms
.The negative point
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
internet
Use synonyms
, there is no one to
insure
Correct your spelling
ensure
show examples
 is
this
Linking Words
information
Use synonyms
alludes to be
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
 in public or not.
However
Linking Words
, the newspaper and
TV
Use synonyms
news
Use synonyms
programmes
Use synonyms
 give the
information
Use synonyms
 and the important
news
Use synonyms
 in professional ways than the
internet
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 a lot of benefits to
Use synonyms
use
Change the verb form
using
show examples
 the
internet
Use synonyms
 to know the
news
Use synonyms
 about the world.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, you must how to
use
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 benefit well.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
 the same
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think the newspapers
became
Wrong verb form
have become
show examples
old
Fix the agreement mistake
an older
show examples
 way to
now
Correct your spelling
know
show examples
 about the
news
Use synonyms
 than
the watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
TV
Use synonyms
news
Use synonyms
programmes
Use synonyms
 or
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 the
internet
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by modhialarjani1999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that you have clear paragraphing with distinct main ideas. For instance, one paragraph could focus solely on the advantages of getting news from the Internet, while another could discuss the disadvantages or the merits of traditional media. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, provide more specific examples to support your points. Instead of saying 'you can know every new fast', offer an example like 'For instance, breaking news updates can be immediately accessed through Twitter feeds or news apps.' This will make your argument more convincing and specific.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses the task by weighing both positive and negative aspects of getting news from the Internet, which shows an understanding of the question.
Coherence and Cohesion
The conclusion is present and summarizes the essay's main points, which helps in presenting a clear opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: