We live in a world of technology these days. While the internet brings with it clear advantages, the problems in terms of control and security of information outweighs the advantages. To what extent do you agree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that even though technology has brought a multitude of benefits in our high-tech
world
Use synonyms
, the concerns related to the security and control of information outweigh the advantages that it offers us.
This
Linking Words
essay totally disagrees with
this
Linking Words
statement. I believe that technological advancement provides the best safety measures and facilitates finding attackers by connecting every part of the
world
Use synonyms
. Rarely do people jeopardise their safety as website creators have implemented necessary security measures. Not only are humans provided an opportunity to use websites in a safer online environment, but they
also
Linking Words
can track the activities on their accounts and immediately solve all unanticipated issues.
For example
Linking Words
, statistics by the
World
Use synonyms
Cybersecurity Organisation show that 95,5% of the population worldwide lead tranquil lives as there is no necessity to worry about their cyber privacy.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the remaining 4,5% contains criminals and cybercriminals that police officers are dealing with. Having innovated the technology, humanity gained access to connect all the parts of the Earth. Even if the security of the personal data of individuals was threatened by hackers, cyber attackers could be identified and arrested instantly.
Additionally
Linking Words
, all data can be stored or unwanted ones can be deleted if people ask request assistance.
For instance
Linking Words
, the developers of Facebook and Instagram verify users' privacy by investing a great sum of money. In case of attacks, they associate with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
various organisations from different parts of the globe in order to capture the criminals, showing 98% successful cases thanks to technological tools. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
a number of cases ensure us that the disadvantages of technology outweigh the advantages by risking the private data of people, I reckon that
this
Linking Words
view is incorrect. The high-tech
world
Use synonyms
has brought vital measures to take into account and the ability to track unwanted acts and attackers by using prevalent connective tools.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure all main points are well-supported with relevant and specific examples. Avoid vague phrases and provide more detailed statistics when possible.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly outline each paragraph's main idea at the beginning or end to enhance logical flow.
coherence and cohesion
Consider varying sentence structure to enhance the overall quality and readability of the essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear position against the statement and maintains that position throughout, which is essential for a strong argument.
task achievement
The use of specific organizations and examples such as Facebook and the World Cybersecurity Organisation adds credibility to the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global connectivity
  • digital banking
  • cybersecurity
  • data protection
  • security breaches
  • cyber attacks
  • online transactions
  • digital divide
  • surveillance
  • freedom of information
  • responsible usage
  • ethical considerations
  • digital footprints
  • online behavior
  • information inequality
What to do next:
Look at other essays: