Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

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Pursuing
further
education and grabbing job opportunities are the prevalent pathways to achieve
success
in
life
according to
people’s stereotypes;
nevertheless
, the term “
success
” can be defined by a variety of distinctive perspectives.
Therefore
,
this
essay will identify the true meaning of
success
by taking every point of view into consideration.
To begin
with, there can be no doubt that everyone has different purposes in
life
; some want to become educated, some need good remunerations, and the other just want to be happy.
Hence
,
success
cannot be restricted to achieving their desired career or education only, as people are facing different struggles in their lives. Take individuals with mental disabilities as the perfect example to encapsulate
this
sentiment, they might hope for a good cognitive development as a normal person, but people with no disability always complain about their
life
, which is unfair to them. In essence, we cannot compare our journey with other people since being successful is perceived differently by everyone. Now, I would like to share my personal view of
success
and my
life
goal. As a student, it is a dream to get admitted into a top university in the world, and that would be my purpose in
life
. Becoming a successful engineer entails years of extensive study and dedication;
therefore
, I want to receive the best quality education from a top-notch institution. I realised that
this
is not an easy thing to accomplish, but achieving dreams always requires hardships and sacrifices. One instance that exemplifies
this
is the legendary athlete from Malaysia, Lee Chong Wei; he had been training since he was little, sacrificing his childhood to become the number 1 badminton player in the world.
In other words
, it may take a long time and energy just to accomplish a dream, but it will definitely become worth it. In conclusion, in light of what has been discussed, it is worth noting that
success
is not similar for everyone.
Although
it might be hard to achieve that, I concur with the viewpoint that efforts never betray.
Submitted by maisarahamirah16 on

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task achievement
While your main points are clear, try to ensure that all examples provided are directly aligned with your arguments. For instance, Lee Chong Wei's example is useful but may need more direct linking back to your personal view on success.
coherence cohesion
For further improvement, focus on adding transitional phrases to more smoothly guide the reader from one idea to the next. This will enhance the logical flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the essay and clearly outlines what will be discussed.
task achievement
Personal anecdotes and specific examples bolster your arguments and make them more relatable.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fulfillment
  • personal goals
  • happiness
  • career milestones
  • professional development
  • financial independence
  • security
  • philanthropy
  • contribution
  • personal development
  • recognition
  • work-life balance
  • self-improvement
  • well-being
  • subjective
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