Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

#people #success #career #education

Pursuing

further

education and grabbing job opportunities are the prevalent pathways to achieve

success

life

according to

people’s stereotypes;

nevertheless

, the term “

success

” can be defined by a variety of distinctive perspectives.

Therefore

this

essay will identify the true meaning of

success

by taking every point of view into consideration.

To begin

with, there can be no doubt that everyone has different purposes in

life

; some want to become educated, some need good remunerations, and the other just want to be happy.

Hence

success

cannot be restricted to achieving their desired career or education only, as people are facing different struggles in their lives. Take individuals with mental disabilities as the perfect example to encapsulate

this

sentiment, they might hope for a good cognitive development as a normal person, but people with no disability always complain about their

life

, which is unfair to them. In essence, we cannot compare our journey with other people since being successful is perceived differently by everyone. Now, I would like to share my personal view of

success

and my

life

goal. As a student, it is a dream to get admitted into a top university in the world, and that would be my purpose in

life

. Becoming a successful engineer entails years of extensive study and dedication;

therefore

, I want to receive the best quality education from a top-notch institution. I realised that

this

is not an easy thing to accomplish, but achieving dreams always requires hardships and sacrifices. One instance that exemplifies

this

is the legendary athlete from Malaysia, Lee Chong Wei; he had been training since he was little, sacrificing his childhood to become the number 1 badminton player in the world.

In other words

, it may take a long time and energy just to accomplish a dream, but it will definitely become worth it. In conclusion, in light of what has been discussed, it is worth noting that

success

is not similar for everyone.

Although

it might be hard to achieve that, I concur with the viewpoint that efforts never betray.

Submitted by maisarahamirah16 on Fri Aug 09 2024

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task achievement

While your main points are clear, try to ensure that all examples provided are directly aligned with your arguments. For instance, Lee Chong Wei's example is useful but may need more direct linking back to your personal view on success.

coherence cohesion

For further improvement, focus on adding transitional phrases to more smoothly guide the reader from one idea to the next. This will enhance the logical flow of the essay.

coherence cohesion

The introduction effectively sets the stage for the essay and clearly outlines what will be discussed.

task achievement

Personal anecdotes and specific examples bolster your arguments and make them more relatable.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

341 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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11 Most Commonly Used English Expressions »

Topic Vocabulary:

fulfillment
personal goals
happiness
career milestones
professional development
financial independence
security
philanthropy
contribution
personal development
recognition
work-life balance
self-improvement
well-being
subjective

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