Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers ahould be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe thay should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.
It is believed some that those who trained should serve the same nation from which they have received their training
Change preposition
by
while
others oppose the notion by claiming that it should be the personal choice of an individual to make their own decisions. However
, I support the statement that it should be a professional choice. I will discuss the views in upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with, the nations where people opt for their studies spend huge sums of cash on individuals seeking training. Therefore
, in return, they ask them to serve the same nation. For example
, in India government colleges spend over $100000 per student per year which is a large amount of money. Along with
this
, developing countries may suffer from brain drain when their trained workers move abroad. Moreover
, doctors trained in specific countries become more familiar with the culture, language and specific needs of the population and can address the solutions right away without barriers such
as language.
On the other hand
, individuals should have the freedom to work anywhere in the world to grow their personal and professional lives. This
freedom leads to better job satisfaction and career boost. They can find enhanced search opportunities which help them earn huge sums of cash within a few years. In addition
to this
, moving abroad facilitates the exchange of knowledge and skills across borders. This
can lead to innovations and improvements in various sectors. Also
, it helps the economic growth of home countries when the individuals send funds back home to support their families which is a significant source of income for families and contributes to economic growth. For example
, doctors working in Canada and the USA help their families financially back home which boosts economic upswing. As India is growing with a GDP rate of 7.2% is a perfect example of contribution to the economy.
In my opinion, it should be the workers' personal choice as it will give them a healthy and stress-free lifestyle. This
is a fundamental right, and the person should not be restricted by the location of their training.
To conclude
, while
it is important to consider the investments and needs of the training country, the freedom of professionals to work where they wish can lead to broader benefits for both professionals and the global community.Submitted by manjeetsandhu1999 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses both views clearly and offers your own opinion, which is excellent for task achievement. To improve, you could provide a bit more elaboration on the points discussed to make your argument even stronger.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences could be more refined and structured to enhance the cohesion. Ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next will help make the essay easier to read. Using linking words or phrases will aid this.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence, try to ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that its supporting sentences stick closely to that idea. This will help to avoid any potential confusion for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which is important for a coherent structure.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples, such as the economic impact of professionals working abroad, which supports your main points effectively.
task achievement
The essay gives a complete response to the task by discussing both views and providing a clear opinion.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example