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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities.

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities.
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The line graph illustrates the medium
temperature
Use synonyms
 per month,
while
Linking Words
 the table describes the
number
Use synonyms
 of
hours
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 of sunshine annually in three given cities namely
London
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, New
York
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 and
Sydney
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, there is a similar upward trend in the figure for
temperature
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 in each month in New
York
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 and
London
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whereas
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 that
number
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 in
Sydney
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 experiences a contrasting movement over the given period.
In addition
Linking Words
, the average figure for sunshine
hours
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 in New
York
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 ranks the highest,
on the other hand
Linking Words
, that
number
Use synonyms
 in
London
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 takes the lowest position. A more detailed look at the graph clearly shows that in the first quarter of the year, the
temperature
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 in
Sydney
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 remains stable at over 25
degrees
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 before hitting
a
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rock bottom at merely 15
degrees
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then
Linking Words
 continues its period of stability at exactly 25
degrees
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the average
temperature
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 in
London
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 reaches a peak from under 10
degrees
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 to approximately 25
degrees
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. That
number
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 in New
York
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 witnesses the same trend over the given period, it increases minimally from around 5 to 7
degrees
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then
Linking Words
 hits the highest point, at 30
degrees
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 and goes down to 5
degrees
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 by the end of the year.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
hours
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 of sunlight in New
York
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 and
Sydney
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 is the highest , accounting for about 2500
hours
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 per year.
In contrast
Linking Words
, that data in
London
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 was the lowest, at 1180 annual
hours
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, number, hours, london, york, sydney, degrees with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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