It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
As a result
, there is a growth attitude toward saving money among juveniles for their future
. In my view, I firmly agree with this
opinion because currency plays a vital role in an individual’s life. I know living in the moment is another attitude. In this
article, I will explain my vision via topic.
It seems that saving money for the future
is an essential skill that young people should learn. If they do not pay attention to this
measure, they may be facing a vast number of problems; for example
, one of my friends, who earned a good salary in a famous company, got into trouble since he did not have any savings against most of the time he went on holiday. Moreover
, a university in Greece published an article showing a positive correlation between saving money at a young age and having peace of mind when being older. A person is more likely to face health or economic problems in the future
. Not only do they have the energy to tackle them, but they also
cannot work to earn income. As far as I am concerned, being aware of this
issue and trying to save wages, although
insignificant, can help people have better lives in the future
.
Some people argue that making your moment like you do not have any future
or maybe you do not see tomorrow what knows the future
will bring. Indeed, neither having now nor a future
, I am afraid I have to disagree with this
claim, albeit functional, for sometimes, all in all, how much per cent it works. Being foresight is a priority of the principles of life.
In conclusion,however
, living in the present has positive effects both mentally and physically, but having a glance into the future
through saving is crucial.Submitted by sarataklimi89 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
In the introduction, instead of using 'via topic,' which feels somewhat vague, try to specify how you will be tackling the question. For instance, 'In this essay, I will explain my perspective on why saving money is essential for young people and provide supporting examples from my experiences.'
task achievement
Your essay has clearly defined ideas but occasionally lacks in-depth explanation. When discussing points like your friend's financial troubles, try to elaborate more on how saving could have potentially helped in avoiding such a scenario. This will provide more comprehensive support to your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, but some sentences can be rephrased for smoother transitions and clarity. For example, 'As far as I am concerned, being aware of this issue and trying to save wages, although insignificant, can help people have better lives in the future,' could be simplified to 'I believe that even small savings can significantly improve one's future quality of life.'
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the articulation in some sections where the sentence structure is awkward or unclear. For instance, 'Being foresight is a priority of the principles of life' could be better expressed as 'Being foresighted is one of life's essential principles.'
task achievement
You provide relevant examples, such as your friend’s financial troubles, which add credibility to your argument.
task achievement
You present a balanced view by acknowledging the perspective of living in the moment, which enriches your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the essay effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is coherent with logical structuring; points are generally well-connected.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.