Some people think that the development of technology helps to reduce crime, while otherpeople think it encourages crime. Discuss both sides and give your opinion
Technology
has been improving over the last
few years with yearly upgrades to phone and computer systems. This
has been a point of contention for some people
as they think that the enhancement of technology
has aided in reducing crimes
while
others think that it encourages crime. In this
essay, I will talk about both sides and how I think technology
encourages people
to commit crimes
.
In recent years, there has been a constant improvement of technological devices that enable people
to monitor one's business or house. The rise of home security cameras and ring doorbell cameras would deflect potential criminals from entering other people
's houses or committing crimes
. There has been a decrease in trespassing and stealing valuable items from houses. Also
, the rise of social media has enabled the community to spread awareness of the criminal acts done through social media. For example
, in my hometown, growing up there was a high rate of house break-ins and theft, however
, since people
have started putting security cameras around and inside their homes, there has been a steady decline in these crimes
.
On the other hand
, as technology
advances, so does the crime rate. Technology
has been helping in reducing crimes
like theft and robbery but other types of crimes
have increased. Since people
have the need to keep up with the advancing world, they tend to commit fraud to be able to purchase newer gadgets like smartphones and computers. For example
, in my hometown, a group of employees were imprisoned for selling illegal substances as a way of paying back their debt. Police mentioned that their debt due to
exorbitant spending on gadgets had led these people
to commit such
acts. Moreover
, social influencers release videos that encourage unpleasant behaviours like prank videos. This
has resulted in multiple people
having bodily harm due to
these pranks. For example
, an influencer released a video about how they planned and successfully smashed the birthday girl's face onto the cake. This
has gone viral and many have joined the trend, unluckily multiple people
have been injured by this
due to
their cake having wooden dowels as cake support. One of the victims has suffered total vision loss due to
this
prank.
In conclusion, technological advancement has been beneficial in decreasing criminal acts like theft and trespassing. However
, this
improvement has also
led to an increase in the selling of illegal substances to keep up with the advancement and bodily harm due to
the videos spread around using these devices. In my opinion, these innovations have more detrimental effects than positive effects.Submitted by estillorericamae on
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task achievement
Improve the clarity of your arguments by ensuring your points directly connect to your main thesis. For example, make clearer transitions between technological advances and their specific impact on crime.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical structure of your points. Sometimes your arguments don't flow as smoothly as they could, and certain points feel slightly disjointed. Improve the logical progression between paragraphs.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are well-constructed and clearly present the topic and your opinion.
relevant specific examples
You provide specific examples to support your points, which enrich your essay and make it more engaging.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.