IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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These days, more
people
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 enjoy saving more and more
money
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 for their future, including young
people
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.
This
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 trend is popular and common in the world. In my opinion, I agree with
this
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 point, I believe that it is a good way to make sure their life has
a
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apply
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good financial support. On the one hand,
people
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 have
money
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 to improve themselves.Nowadays, a lot of
people
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 have the willingness that they want to invest themselves. They can use the
money
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 to learn a new language
,
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apply
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 or learn a new skill, they even can use the
money
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 to explore something new. It is a good way to open their mind.
In addition
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,
people
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 should
also
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 save
money
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 to buy a house of their own. As far as we all
kwon
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know
,
due to
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 the price of apartments increasing quickly, more and more
people
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 are really into renting an apartment, even some
people
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 rent a building with strangers, Meanwhile, they often pay attention to the price and the question of whether the landlord will continue to rent the house.
However
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, if
people
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 save
money
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 to buy an apartment, they can live in their house. They will get a sense of happy and unwinding. It is a good action that
people
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 can improve their quality of life. In conclusion, some
people
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 hold the view that saving
money
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 will promote stress in their daily lives. They will focus on if they have
money
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 to pay their bills.
However
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,
people
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 should study and spend their
money
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 wisely, even if it's only a little
money
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 a month.
People
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 should build a saving
money
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 concept for their future.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance the logical flow.
Task Achievement
Address potential counterarguments and provide evidence to support your claims for a more complete response.
Task Achievement
Use more diverse vocabulary and expand on examples for a more comprehensive discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well.
Task Achievement
The writer supports the main points with relevant ideas, such as self-improvement and purchasing a house.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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