IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You work at home and have a problem with a piece of equipment that you use for your job. Write a letter to the shop or company which supplied the equipment. In your letter: • describe the problem with the equipment • explain how this problem is affecting your work • say what you want the shop or to do

#work #home #piece #equipment #job #shop #company
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to complain about
oven
Add an article
an oven
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 that I purchased from your store a month ago. Unfortunately, it
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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suddenly stopped working and I could not cook a cake. It suddenly emitted a foul smell and
also
 a small spark
cam
Correct your spelling
came
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 out of it. I was very worried about it.
This
 has a huge impact on my work because I cook a cake from home for various events and it is my only income. If I do not have an
oven
, I will
lost
Change the verb form
lose
be lost
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 a lot of customers . And that means, I am in trouble. That's why, I asked you to install a new
oven
 or repair the
oven
 today. If I do not get
answer
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an answer
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 from you, I will write my application in the appropriate places. I hope you understand me and I look forward to your reply. Thank you in advance for your help.
Correct the word
Yours
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Your
Correct your spelling
Yours
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 faithfully, Shabnam
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
The introduction is clear, but make sure to mention in the first sentence exactly which piece of equipment you're referring to (e.g., 'the oven').
coherence cohesion
Consider breaking down the second paragraph into two parts: one describing the problem in detail and the other explaining its impact on your work. This will make it easier to follow.
task achievement
You have clearly outlined the problem with the equipment and its impact on your work. This satisfies the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Your structure includes an introduction, a description of the problem, its impact, and a request—making it logical and easy to follow.
greeting and closing
Ending with a polite request for action and a thank you note gives a good impression and shows proper letter-writing etiquette.
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