Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There are split arguments regarding the banning from using their gadget for scholars in their
Use synonyms
school
. Some people believe that it will Fix the agreement mistake
schools
helps
their family to keep in contact with them, Change the verb form
help
while
another group of thinkers support that bringing Linking Words
phones
to the academic area could be dangerous. Both Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
its
own pros and cons, and my position will be discussed in the Correct pronoun usage
their
further
paragraphs.
Discussing the former opinion, the regulation of allowing children Linking Words
using
their mobile Change the verb form
to use
phones
in Use synonyms
school
could make their parents communicate easier with them. By Use synonyms
Linking Words
this
I mean that when there are some Add a comma
this,
reschedule
agendas in Wrong verb form
rescheduled
school
or when the children are not in Use synonyms
a good conditions
, mom and dad can control Correct the article-noun agreement
a good condition
good conditions
these kind
of Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
phenomenon
and get the information directly by Fix the agreement mistake
phenomena
contact
their Wrong verb form
contacting
child
with their Fix the agreement mistake
children
phones
. Use synonyms
However
, their supervisor in Linking Words
school
should make sure the time consuming by Use synonyms
those
young generation is in the rest time only or after the learning process is finished already. Based on my experience, my younger brother who Correct determiner usage
the
bring
his phone to Change the verb form
brings
school
, can Use synonyms
informed
the families about his situation as soon as possible and it would impact on reducing our anxiety about his health.
Change the verb form
inform
However
, those who support the idea of banning phone usage in study place Linking Words
area
would think that it can be a threat Fix the agreement mistake
areas
for
student's safety Change preposition
to
due to
its potential Linking Words
attracted
Change the verb form
to attract
by
Change preposition
apply
the
robbers. Correct article usage
apply
Additionaly
, the overuse of the gadget can Correct your spelling
Additionally
also
impact Linking Words
on
the lack of concentration in Change preposition
apply
Add an article
the study
study
because they would Fix the agreement mistake
studies
preffered
to play games with their phone rather than to Correct your spelling
prefer
listen
their educators. Add the preposition
listen to
Morever
, Correct your spelling
Moreover
this
could lead to Linking Words
the
screen fatigue and reduce the motivation Correct article usage
apply
of learning
in their schools.
In conclusion, it seems to me that the stronger argument is in favour of allowing students Change preposition
to learn
bringing
their Change the verb form
to bring
phones
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
school
, but with the control Use synonyms
for
their teachers for not using Change preposition
of
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
in
Change preposition
during
the
study time, rather than not Correct article usage
apply
allow
them at all.Wrong verb form
allowing
Submitted by as on
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task achievement
Make sure to address both views equally and clearly state your opinion.
task achievement
Try to elaborate your points with more detail to make your arguments stronger.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Work on grammatical accuracy and sentence structures to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Good structure with clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Provided examples to support main points, which added value to your arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.