Many people like to go on holiday abroad, while other believes it is better to visit places within their own country. Discuss both of view and give your opinion.

In recent years, the debate between
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
abroad versus exploring one’s own country has become a popular topic.
While
many people enjoy going on international holidays, others believe that domestic
travel
offers better
experiences
.
Both
views have merit and deserve careful consideration. On one hand,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
abroad provides unique opportunities to experience different cultures, languages, and lifestyles. It allows people to broaden their horizons and gain a deeper understanding of the world. Exploring famous landmarks like the Eiffel Tower in France or the Great Wall of China can be
life-changing
Correct article usage
a life-changing
show examples
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
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.
Additionally
, international
travel
can provide a sense of adventure and excitement, as it often involves discovering entirely new environments and traditions.
On the other hand
, domestic
travel
offers its own advantages. Exploring one’s own country can be more affordable and less time-consuming, as there are no visa requirements or long flights involved. It
also
helps to support the local economy, which is particularly important for regions that rely on tourism.
Moreover
, many people are unaware of the hidden gems in their own country, from natural wonders to historical sites, which can offer equally enriching
experiences
. Visiting local destinations can foster a greater appreciation of one’s own culture and heritage. In my opinion,
both
types of
travel
have their benefits, and the choice ultimately depends on personal preferences and circumstances.
While
international
travel
offers a chance to experience new cultures, domestic
travel
can be just as rewarding and more accessible. A balance of
both
can provide a well-rounded
travel
experience. In conclusion, whether
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
abroad or exploring locally,
both
options can offer valuable and enriching
experiences
.

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task achievement
While the essay provides a comprehensive response, it could benefit from deeper analysis of each viewpoint. Consider adding more specific examples to strengthen arguments for both domestic and international travel.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each point is expanded upon adequately for a robust argument. For example, when mentioning the support of the local economy through domestic travel, examples of how tourism benefits specific local areas could add depth.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear and effective introduction and conclusion that frame the discussion well.
coherence and cohesion
Each viewpoint is presented clearly, and the writing maintains logical connections throughout, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
The balance between discussing the advantages of domestic and international travel is well-handled, offering a well-rounded perspective.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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