IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You recently went to a movie theatre to enjoy a movie, but unfortunately, you left your jacket there

#movie #theatre #jacket
Dear sir or madam. I am writing to inquire about the my
jacket
 is that stayed there, when I went to the theatre. I went to the theatre and I enjoyed a movie yesterday. Unfortunately, my
jacket
 stayed, which I was seated. I bought it
last
 Sunday. Its colour is black,
also
 it has white letters. It has not buttons, but it has zip. Size is 46 and it is inside the
jacket
. I love watching movies so I was seated on the second floor 21st seat.
Furthermore
, I moved at my boyfriend when I saw him. He was seated on the third floor 14th seat.
Moreover
, we moved to seventh floor.
This
 is because spectators were not more in the cinema. Later, we lifted to balcony and we sat there. I would like you to find my
jacket
. If you find my
jacket
, you will call me. My phone number: 7424 6787 1408 . Could you possibly send my
jacket
 to my house. My address: Hallam Street, 7th house. I look forwarding to receiving a prompt reply! Your faithfully. Mrs Hulkar.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are clear and appropriately framed. The letter could benefit from a specific closing sentence reiterating the request for assistance.
coherence cohesion
Provide more detailed transitions between actions. Transitions such as 'furthermore' and 'moreover' are used correctly but could be smoother to improve the flow of the narrative.
language
Address minor grammatical errors for better clarity. For instance, 'inquire about the my jacket' should be 'inquire about my jacket'.
task achievement
Include more specific details about the jacket's location to improve the clarity and relevance of examples. The description of movements within the theater was slightly confusing.
task achievement
The description of the jacket is detailed and helpful, providing specific identifiers like color, size, and features.
language
Appropriate use of polite language and structure, such as 'I would like you to' and 'Could you possibly'.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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