Despite better access to education, many adults today still cannot read or write. In what ways are they disadvantaged? What can governments do to help them?

#access #education #adults #governments

In our modern world,

although

governments

have taken plenty of measures to help citizens access education, many

adults

today are still illiterate.

This

essay will shed light on the drawbacks of

this

trend before suggesting some feasible solutions that authorities can implement. I have to acknowledge that illiterate

people

can face lots of consequences. First and foremost,

this

tendency will hinder their personal growth. Without the ability to read documents, books and other materials with accumulated knowledge, individuals will be unable to broaden their minds about some aspects of today’s world,

such

as financial hubs, politics or even their potential.

This

will stifle their personal growth and impede their goal development.

Moreover

, there will be a decrease in the employee rate and that country’s economic situation, and it can

also

lead to a higher risk of criminals. Because most criminals come from illiterate backgrounds, society may become worse if

this

trend continues.

However

governments

can

Verb problem

find

show examples

two main solutions to put an end to

this

tendency. Perhaps one of these is providing education to

people

who live in remote areas.

According to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

research from Vietnam News,

people

who live in rural and mountainous areas seem to have a higher rate of being unable to read and write. So the government can invest in education in these areas and build more schools suitable for illiterate

adults

. The second solution that authorities can deal with is to create flexible study schedules for

adults

and

also

subsidize their tuition. If some

adults

are stuck in their class schedules,

governments

can provide them with online classes, which are more convenient for

people

to learn regardless of their geographic distance.

Furthermore

, some individuals may be ashamed of their family budgets, so authorities can encourage these

people

by supporting their tuition fees. The above things can partly contribute to reducing illiteracy in

adults

. In conclusion, there are plenty of consequences that a lack of reading and writing skills in

adults

can cause to themselves and to society.

However

, I believe that

governments

can implement the aforementioned solutions to deal with

this

problem.

Submitted by weezel on Sun Aug 11 2024

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complete response

Your essay is well-structured, and your points are clearly articulated. However, try to make sure that all your points are equally supported with relevant examples. For example, when you mention that increased illiteracy can lead to a higher crime rate, providing more specific statistics or studies to back up that claim would strengthen your argument.

logical structure

Your essay flows logically and is easy to follow. To further enhance coherence, consider using more sophisticated linking phrases and transitional words to improve the fluidity between your points and paragraphs.

relevant specific examples

You provide good examples, but adding a bit more detail or different types of examples (anecdotal, statistical) could further substantiate your arguments. For instance, when discussing flexible study schedules, you might mention specific online platforms that have been successful.

introduction conclusion present

Excellent introduction and conclusion which clearly state your main points and wrap up your argument succinctly.

clear comprehensive ideas

You effectively address the task and cover all necessary points in detail.

logical structure

Logical progression of your essay makes it easy to understand and engaging to read.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

347 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Despite better access to education, many adults today still cannot read or write. In what ways are they disadvantaged? What can governments do to help them?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

Some people work for the same organization all their life. Others think that it is better towork for different organizations. Discuss both thiese views and give your own opinion.

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shopping centers and malls to do their shopping. Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people say that advertising is extremely succesfull at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.