People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the one world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

These days, communication and finding
job
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jobs
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have become easier than before
due to
the growth in technology and transportation;
hence
,
people
can have the freedom to apply for any field they are interested in. Some families might show enthusiasm for living in another
country
enhance their own talents and pursue their dreams. The following essay is going to discuss
about
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apply
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the advantages
or
Correct word choice
and
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disadvantages of
this
development. To be specific, there have been many merits that the process mentioned above has brought
in for
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. One of the positive points of
this
trend is that
people
with great God gifts,
such
as Maryam Mirzakhani in mathematics, who did not have a bright future in her own
country
could have a chance to fulfil her needs and become a star somewhere else.
Furthermore
, “Countries with weak future plans do not cherish their own young generation skills and spread them,” said University of Howard professor, Alice Williams.
Subsequently
, the benefit of unchallenging transportation or communication could make it easy for
people
to leave their
country
and their relatives. Another
savory
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savoury
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point to mention is that working in any field you are keener on can be more satisfying than an errand which is boring and exhausting.
For instance
, a person who lives in Egypt but has studied about oceans and wants to work in
this
authority cannot reach
to
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apply
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his or her goal, so
this
individual would be forced to travel to another
country
. As far as it has been researched, the benefits outweigh the downfalls;
thus
, in the contracts of all these rewarding
items
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items,
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there are some demerits too. Blooming in technology and freedom in moving has shown some terrible impacts.
Researches
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Research
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have
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has
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shown the number of
people
addicted to technology is having a significant growth.
In addition
, the number of illnesses
due to
using too many laptops and phones in our daily
life
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lives
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has been slightly grown. “Blue rays made by phones and
computers screen
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computer screens
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can make eyes tired;
consequently
, eyes would get weaker,” said
by
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apply
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doctor John Smith, head of California Optometric Hospital.
Overall
, there are always positive points
beside
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besides
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negative points when it comes to countries’ development,
however
, as mentioned above merits of
this
concept outweigh the demerits.
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to maintain a clear and consistent argument throughout the essay to improve coherence. Avoid minor digressions.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are strong, but ensure each paragraph flows logically into the next for better cohesion.
task achievement
Some examples can be more specific and directly related to the point being made.
task achievement
Further develop your points to clearly convey comprehensive ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets up the essay well, outlining the topic and indicating the direction of the argument.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples to illustrate your points, which enhances the task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively captures the main arguments presented in the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • communication technology
  • transportation
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • freedom
  • work and live
  • development
  • increased job opportunities
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
  • cultural exposure
  • diversity
  • economic growth
  • globalization
  • social isolation
  • loneliness
  • loss of community
  • sense of belonging
  • expensive cost of living
  • housing
  • strain on infrastructure
  • resources
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