People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the one world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #freedom #work #world #development #communication #technology #transportation

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These days, communication and finding

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

have become easier than before

due to

Linking Words

the growth in technology and transportation;

hence

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

can have the freedom to apply for any field they are interested in. Some families might show enthusiasm for living in another

country

Use synonyms

enhance their own talents and pursue their dreams. The following essay is going to discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

the advantages

Correct word choice

and

show examples

disadvantages of

this

Linking Words

development. To be specific, there have been many merits that the process mentioned above has brought

in for

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apply

show examples

. One of the positive points of

this

Linking Words

trend is that

people

Use synonyms

with great God gifts,

such

Linking Words

as Maryam Mirzakhani in mathematics, who did not have a bright future in her own

country

Use synonyms

could have a chance to fulfil her needs and become a star somewhere else.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, “Countries with weak future plans do not cherish their own young generation skills and spread them,” said University of Howard professor, Alice Williams.

Subsequently

Linking Words

, the benefit of unchallenging transportation or communication could make it easy for

people

Use synonyms

to leave their

country

Use synonyms

and their relatives. Another

savory

Change the spelling

savoury

show examples

point to mention is that working in any field you are keener on can be more satisfying than an errand which is boring and exhausting.

For instance

Linking Words

, a person who lives in Egypt but has studied about oceans and wants to work in

this

Linking Words

authority cannot reach

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apply

show examples

his or her goal, so

this

Linking Words

individual would be forced to travel to another

country

Use synonyms

. As far as it has been researched, the benefits outweigh the downfalls;

thus

Linking Words

, in the contracts of all these rewarding

items

Add a comma

items,

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there are some demerits too. Blooming in technology and freedom in moving has shown some terrible impacts.

Researches

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Research

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have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

shown the number of

people

Use synonyms

addicted to technology is having a significant growth.

In addition

Linking Words

, the number of illnesses

due to

Linking Words

using too many laptops and phones in our daily

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

has been slightly grown. “Blue rays made by phones and

computers screen

Fix the agreement mistake

computer screens

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can make eyes tired;

consequently

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, eyes would get weaker,” said

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apply

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doctor John Smith, head of California Optometric Hospital.

Overall

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, there are always positive points

beside

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besides

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negative points when it comes to countries’ development,

however

Linking Words

, as mentioned above merits of

this

Linking Words

concept outweigh the demerits.

Submitted by TUTOO on Sun Aug 11 2024

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coherence cohesion

Make sure to maintain a clear and consistent argument throughout the essay to improve coherence. Avoid minor digressions.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are strong, but ensure each paragraph flows logically into the next for better cohesion.

task achievement

Some examples can be more specific and directly related to the point being made.

task achievement

Further develop your points to clearly convey comprehensive ideas.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction sets up the essay well, outlining the topic and indicating the direction of the argument.

task achievement

You have included relevant examples to illustrate your points, which enhances the task achievement.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively captures the main arguments presented in the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

368 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

communication technology
transportation
advantages
disadvantages
freedom
work and live
development
increased job opportunities
flexibility
work-life balance
cultural exposure
diversity
economic growth
globalization
social isolation
loneliness
loss of community
sense of belonging
expensive cost of living
housing
strain on infrastructure
resources

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People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the one world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

The percentage of overweight children in western countries has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Nowadays a growing number of boys and girls within normal weight ranges have an intense fear of gaining weight and therefore get anorexia. Why do you think a lot of teenagers have a strong desire to be skinny? What can be done to prevent this eating disorder?

Advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone's lives. Some people say that advertising is positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views include your opinion.