Example 6: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

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It is claimed that not only do criminals stop the act of felony after they are penalized, but they

also

Linking Words

keep committing more

crimes

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the fact that they have been criminals for too long and have no other

skills

Use synonyms

Moreover

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, poverty can put them under intense pressure that leaves them no choice. When offenders serve their punishment, they have no other

skills

Use synonyms

to develop in order to be honourable citizens and work hard.

This

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due to

Linking Words

the long period of living as a criminal.

Additionally

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, many of them turned into a felon

due to

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the poor condition of their lives

as well as

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financial issues. Research on the rate of

crimes

Use synonyms

committed in 2012 in Iran indicated the dramatic increase in bank robberies, revealing the fact that most offences are because of economic disparity.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, governments can provide occupational

skills

Use synonyms

for those who are in prison so that they can have a job when they are free again to make a living and avoid the act of felony.

In addition

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, for some types of

crimes

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, serious punishments must be ordered. A prime example of

this

Linking Words

is Saudi Arabia, sentencing those who steal anything to a public penalty which is cutting both of their hands off.

Although

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

rule might be brutal, the rate of smuggling and stealing is almost below 2% in

this

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country now. In conclusion, those who still keep committing

crimes

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even after they are being punished are either under financial pressure or have no

skills

Use synonyms

to start a new occupation. Despite all these facts, governments can take action to develop these people's

skills

Use synonyms

while

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in prison or intense penalties must be written to hinder serious

crimes

Use synonyms

abolfath50Sun Aug 11 2024

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task achievement

You have addressed the task well and provided a comprehensive response. However, it would be beneficial to elaborate more on the examples and provide additional evidence or sources to strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be achieved by using linking words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your points. Additionally, the structure of your essay is clear, but try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and concluding sentence to enhance readability.

other

Ensure that your vocabulary range is varied to avoid repetition and to increase the lexical resource score. Also, be mindful of some grammatical inaccuracies and phrasing that could be clearer.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction clearly outlines the issue at hand and sets the stage for the reader. This effectively engages the reader from the outset.

coherence cohesion

You provided a logical and coherent structure throughout the essay, with each paragraph focusing on a single main point.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates your stance, providing a strong end to your essay.

task achievement

The essay shows a clear and comprehensive understanding of the issue, with relevant arguments and examples provided to support your points.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

recidivism
reintegration
rehabilitation programs
economic hardship
employment opportunities
social stigma
discrimination
psychological issues
mental health problems
substance abuse
negative peer influence
incarceration
offenders
ex-convicts
recidivist
penal system
preventative measures
re-offend
criminal justice system
reintegration strategies

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Example 6: Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the punishment. Why are this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Some people think it is more important to spend money on roads and motorways than on public transport system such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, there are more celebrities who are famous for glamor and wealth rather than their achievements. This is a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Modern technology is used in many workplaces today. How do you think technology changed the ways people work? Do you think there any disadvantages of relying on technology at work?

The apartment that you have rented was repaired recently. Later, you discovered some defects in repairs. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter explain what the problem is suggest how it can be fixed say what you would like the landlord to do about it.