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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organiasation. why might this be case what could be the disadvantages of being self-employed

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Introduction
These days, many
individuals
Use synonyms
 opt to work independently rather than work for a company or organization. They make
this
Linking Words
 decision for various reasons.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that being self-employed could be disadvantageous in some aspects of life.
Body paragraph 1
One reason why people prefer to work for themselves is that it provides them with flexibility and the ability to pursue their own goals.
For example
Linking Words
, freelancers can achieve significant milestones in their careers without having to answer to managers or administrations. If they earn a better profit, it benefits them directly, rather than a company or corporation. Another reason is that self-employed
individuals
Use synonyms
 can manage their time more flexibly, allowing them to allocate more time to family gatherings, relationships, and leisure activities.
For instance
Linking Words
, my brother, who is a self-employed programmer, spends considerable time on leisure activities
instead
Linking Words
 of commuting to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 workplace.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, being self-employed has its drawbacks. One of the main disadvantages is the lack of job security.
For instance
Linking Words
, since self-employed
individuals
Use synonyms
 do not receive a regular salary, they are solely responsible for managing financial difficulties. They must always have savings to deal with
such
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 situations.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, self-employed
individuals
Use synonyms
 may miss out on the professional atmosphere of a workplace, which means they might lose opportunities for networking and communication with experts in their field.
For instance
Linking Words
, they might not be informed about cutting-edge technology in their careers.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 being self-employed offers benefits
such
Linking Words
 as flexibility in pursuing personal goals, it
also
Linking Words
 has setbacks like a lack of job security. I believe that governments can take action to address these issues,
such
Linking Words
 as providing access to insurance and retirement savings for self-employed
individuals
Use synonyms

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task achievement
You have provided a clear and comprehensive response to the task with relevant and specific examples. However, to improve your task response, consider explaining some points in more depth to demonstrate a more thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with a clear introduction and conclusion. To enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay, consider using more varied and sophisticated linking words or phrases to create a smoother flow between your ideas.
task achievement
You have effectively outlined the reasons why people choose to be self-employed and discussed the disadvantages, which shows a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point, which helps maintain a logical and clear structure.
task achievement
Your use of relevant and specific examples, such as the example of your brother, strengthens your arguments and makes your points more relatable.
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