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Writing Samples
Band 6

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this fact

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While
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 it is widely believed that tourism is one of the key drivers contributing to
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
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, it can negatively cause problems
due to
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 poor management.
This
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 essay will show that
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
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 and employment are benefited,
while
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 the environment can be damaged. One of the primary advantages of tourism is it impacts positively economic growth and increases employment rates. When the demand
of
Change preposition
for
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 users goes up, the supply of products and services is
also
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 required. Many hotels and attraction places will open positions to serve the customers' needs, resulting in more opportunities for job seekers.
Additionally
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, foreigners tend to pay more for better experiences, leading to higher incomes.
For example
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, the dominant source of income in Thailand is from the tourist industry. To satisfy more than 30 million travellers, the nation must hire more employees, contributing directly to its better finances.
On the other hand
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, environmental issues will be key drawbacks. Regarding higher tourists, more resources are consumed, especially energy. The more energy used in vehicles, the higher
level
Correct article usage
the level
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 of carbon dioxide emission.
Moreover
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, if travellers leave their garbage and do not follow instructions, natural scenery will be destroyed.
For instance
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, many beaches have to close for a certain period in order to recover from the damage from tourists. In conclusion, it is undeniable that the tourist industry generates a great number of income for many regions and it impacts positively nations' economic growth and employment.
However
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, without proper policies, tourism can be a cause of downsides as well. If there are no controls, the environment can be damaged, leading to serious consequences.

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coherence and cohesion
Enhance the logical flow of your ideas by using more varied linking words and phrases between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
In the conclusion, you could briefly reiterate your main points for clarity and impact.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your arguments, specifically regarding Thailand's tourism industry.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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